Opera Timtams

Artsy farty, greenie, latte sipping, lefty feminist teacher and opera singer on Kuarna land.

She/her.
TERFS/transphobes can fuck off.

[Opera Timtams @OperaTimtams]

Ar that age, my kid had made up an entire alien world, (that they were from), where vegetables were bad for you and lollies were healthy food. They had grandparents, but their parents were dead. 🤣

[Bennie🕊️ @Bennieeexyz]

My 4-year-old had me dying yesterday.

She decided she was a professional cleaner and wanted to help me tidy up the house. She put on her most serious little face, grabbed a dust cloth, and went full business mode.

While we’re wiping down the coffee table together she looks up at me and asks, “Do you have any kids?”

I played along and said, “Yeah, I have two. A 6-year-old and a 4-year-old girl. They’re pretty cool most of the time.”

She nodded thoughtfully like we were two adults having a real conversation, then asked, “Are they good kids?”

I laughed and told her, “They’re the best. What about you? Do you have any kids?”

Without missing a beat she sighed like she’s been carrying the weight of the world and said:

“Yeah… I have five kids. And I’ve been married to my husband Carlin for 30 years.”

I stopped wiping the table and just stared at her.

Me: “Wait… you’re married? For 30 years?!”

She nodded very seriously and kept dusting. “Yes. Carlin is a nice man. He works a lot.”

I was trying so hard not to laugh. “And you have five kids? How old are they?”

She thought for a second and said, “They’re big kids. Like… sixteen.”

At this point I’m fully invested. “Wow. That’s a lot of kids. Do they help you clean?”

She shook her head. “No. They’re too busy. That’s why I have to work as a cleaner.”

I’ve never been more proud and confused at the same time. My 4-year-old has a whole fictional husband named Carlin and five teenage children while she’s out here cleaning the living room like a seasoned professional.

You think you know someone… then your kid reveals she’s been living a double life as a married mother of five 😂

[Opera Timtams @OperaTimtams]

*snort!* 🤣
@STEVEFI14205588

[Opera Timtams @OperaTimtams]

@tilzaus @Phasmaphannie Wow. Did you learn those manners in charm school or have you always been an absolute cunt?

[STEVE FISCHER @STEVEFI14205588]

@OperaTimtams Ahemmm

[Opera Timtams @OperaTimtams]

@STEVEFI14205588 THIS!!!

[Opera Timtams @OperaTimtams]

😂😂😂

[Sarrah Bellus @sarrah_bellus]

Donald Trump will go down in history as the only US President to be outwitted by a single-celled organism.

[Opera Timtams @OperaTimtams]

@shaymcgg Sheer force of will!

[Opera Timtams @OperaTimtams]

@JoRansing80929 @LilOomfieVert You know what we are free to do?
Send our kids to school without having to worry about being shot.
Fuckwit.

[Opera Timtams @OperaTimtams]

@saniyafatma1278 She looks lovely! I am a big fan of a nice, brightly coloured frock!

[Opera Timtams @OperaTimtams]

@2Dawgs2daMoon @Peter_Fitz Have a cup of tea and a lie down, Jeff.
You're testerical.

[Opera Timtams @OperaTimtams]

Hey, @Foxtel! Can we have the full replay of the Thunderbirds vs Vixens netball semi-final please?
The mini is completely inadequate!
#THUvVIX

[Opera Timtams @OperaTimtams]

@ArtistAffame They are cold, and yelling about it! 🤣

[Opera Timtams @OperaTimtams]

@NicR1999_ It's a joke, Joyce.

[Opera Timtams @OperaTimtams]

@LiamLloydW No one will sleep with you, huh?

[Opera Timtams @OperaTimtams]

@luke_pies Indeed. I just think that the T birds will have played in grand finals for 3 of the last 4 seasons, and you can't buy that kind of experience. The Mav's didn't have it under pressure today. 🤷‍♀️

[Opera Timtams @OperaTimtams]

And that, everyone is why you can't rely on the supershot to win games. 🤷‍♀️
#FEVvMAV

[Opera Timtams @OperaTimtams]

@tehecaed The crowd was reminding them at every possible opportunity! 🤣

[Opera Timtams @OperaTimtams]

@georgiadoyle258 Fair call! 🤣

[Opera Timtams @OperaTimtams]

@jeremypeterrich That was about the time I started to breathe again! 😁