Paid Sh*ts

Follow me if you #getpaidtopoop and you're #proudofit ✌️

[Paid Sh*ts @PaidShits]

Just a PSA, prune juice + coffee + tuna = not great for the pipes. I wanted to get things going but DAMN!

(Also pregnancy poops in general are just downright rough. And postpartum, too, from what I hear. So…yeah)

[Paid Sh*ts @PaidShits]

Mom goes, “You two were probably on the toilet at the same time. Jesus!” 😂

[Paid Sh*ts @PaidShits]

Since every shit is basically a #paidshit when you’re a salaried employee, I felt inclined to share I had the best one I’ve had in a little over two months. 🙌

[Paid Sh*ts @PaidShits]

Lol so I felt inclined to share it with my mom via text and she sent back that my dad had said the SAME thing to her not five minutes before. 😂 this apple truly did not fall far from the tree...

[Paid Sh*ts @PaidShits]

@Odysseus952 That is a SOLID #paidshit 🤣

[Paid Sh*ts @PaidShits]

CW: periods/menstruation, poop

Period cramps and a shot of espresso...💩💩💩

[Paid Sh*ts @PaidShits]

@Odysseus952

[Paid Sh*ts @PaidShits]

PSA: Try to time your #paidshits in between your Zoom meetings. You’ll thank me later! #getpaidtopoop

[Paid Sh*ts @PaidShits]

And paid shits just aren’t the same when you work from home, either. #itsahardlife

[Texts From Last Night @TFLN]

(435): You wax your vag but not your butthole??? Girl that’s a mullet.

[Paid Sh*ts @PaidShits]

If you’re a salaried employee, is every shit a #paidshit? Asking for a friend...

[Paid Sh*ts @PaidShits]

Don't worry friends -- we're back! This #paidshit BTYB the new Starbucks Juniper latte #getpaidtopoop

[Paid Sh*ts @PaidShits]

It's been too long, Twitter! Hope your work week has been good and full of #paidshits #getpaidtopoop

[Paid Sh*ts @PaidShits]

Had tons of coffee and Taco Bell today, it's a good day to #getpaidtopoop

[Paid Sh*ts @PaidShits]

3 cups of coffee = massive #paidshit #getpaidtopoop

[Paid Sh*ts @PaidShits]

When you have a coffee addiction, #coffeepoops are a way of life. So here we are, in the student union, taking the first #schoolshit of 2017

[Paid Sh*ts @PaidShits]

#schoolshits are not as fun as #workshits because they aren't #paidshits

[Paid Sh*ts @PaidShits]

7:30am: iced vanilla coffee from Maverik.
9:30: bathroom break #paidshit #getpaidtopoop

[Paid Sh*ts @PaidShits]

Vanilla Bean iced coffee? Guaranteed #paidshit #getpaidtopoop #paidpottybreak

[Paid Sh*ts @PaidShits]

I usually find the best way to get a #paidpottybreak is to drink a Caramel Frappuccino right before you go to work. One hour later, bam!