.

Dont hassle me. Im a local

[Henry Winkler @hwinkler4real]

Omg finally

[Jemaine Clement @AJemaineClement]

That's too much, guys. Come on.

[Funky 🇺🇸🇺🇸🇺🇸 @Benaskren]

People love fist fights. People love circuses. Hope you enjoy tonight.

[. @Paws61]

@joshbotimer @nickymittens Lmao what in the hell

[. @Paws61]

@Austin_FakeName Oh hell yeah

[Poe Zone 666 @PrairieIre]

Me watching Goofy Movie: no way it gets any goofier than this

Me watching Extremely Goofy Movie: mother of god

[shen the bird @Shen_the_Bird]

me: [wondering if i she can tell i lied about my job]

the woman cutting my hair: ocean king sounds stressful

me: it can be

[Michael Ian Black @michaelianblack]

Idea: Even Younger Sheldon?

[Alexandria Ocasio-Cortez @AOC]

Gotta admit it’s really something to see Wall Streeters with a long history of treating our economy as a casino complain about a message board of posters also treating the market as a casino

[. @Paws61]

@JasonIsbell @thewombats

[. @SuiNeltwork]

goofy has escaped

[Cat Damon @CornOnTheGoblin]

whooooa, we're halfway there
whoooa OH, livin in bel-air
one small fight and my mom got scared
whoooa OH, fresh prince of bel-air

[Chad Opitz @chadopitz]

I'm a little suspicious of the new maid they just hired for the White House

[Yellowstone @Yellowstone]

Happy birthday to the one and only Kevin Costner! @modernwest #YellowstoneTV

[Matt O'Brien @matt_obrien]

GOVERNMENT: stay home

ME: ok I’m staying home

GOVERNMENT: ....you wanna go out and get a burrito or something?

ME: can I?

GOVERNMENT: ya maybe I dunno

ME: can I goto the park?

GOVERNMENT: haha buddy I dunno what am I the park police

[Mike Birbiglia @birbigs]

Attempted to cut back today from 3 to 6 cups of coffee to 2 cups of coffee and my head shoved me up against a brick wall and said, “yo mike, we do 3 to 6 cups, remember?”

[Mike Birbiglia @birbigs]

🎶 Talkin ‘bout a Karen revolution. 🎶

https://t.co/fkdflHG1Uy