CJ

Queen of the shower-cry

[CJ @PeachyPoison]

My baby yawned in her sleep and I’ve never related to anything more

[CJ @PeachyPoison]

Facebook being hella bitchy with the “your business page didn’t get any likes this week” notifications.
We’re in a pandemic you don’t have to RUB IT INNNN

[CJ @PeachyPoison]

That’s my daughter! Thanks for match-making us Twitter

[Damian Frenchpounder @sizabledickhead]

So me and the stunning woman I met on Twitter nearly 7 years ago just had a little baby girl and I am literally bursting with happiness.

[CJ @PeachyPoison]

As if being pregnant didn’t suck enough, chuck a pandemic on it

[CJ @PeachyPoison]

@tuhtut Thank you, it’s catastrophic

[CJ @PeachyPoison]

Our country will be burning for at least another 2 months.
Please donate, however much you can.
#AustralianFires
https://t.co/KNRdZjx8ed

[CJ @PeachyPoison]

@UnsatisfiedDoc Scary times atm. Thank you!

[CJ @PeachyPoison]

Beyond devastating

[Kendall Rae @KendallRaeOnYT]

We are likely losing multiple endangered species to the Australian Bush Fires.

Half a billion animals have died. HALF. A. BILLION.
There will be many more lost.

Some of them are species we can never get back.

[CJ @PeachyPoison]

And please don’t forget the little guys who never stood a chance
#AustralianFires #AustralianWildlife
https://t.co/FNoD8gbamw

[CJ @PeachyPoison]

The bravest people are gingers who go outside on a 44 degree day. Power to you, man

[CJ @PeachyPoison]

People who drink straight milk legitimately scare me

[CJ @PeachyPoison]

My cat is the Gypsy Rose to my Dee Dee

[CJ @PeachyPoison]

If I slip into a coma please cancel all of my direct debits

[CJ @PeachyPoison]

So ‘I Can’t Go for That’ by Hall & Oates is about butt stuff right?

[CJ @PeachyPoison]

I was walking home and went to pet a dog laying on the sidewalk.
It was trash I went to pet a bag of trash

[CJ @PeachyPoison]

Being a Melbournian is shopping specifically to add some colour to your wardrobe and then buying all black

[CJ @PeachyPoison]

All I have to say is SAME

[CJ @PeachyPoison]

My biggest strength is fumbling with my wallet for too long at a checkout whilst the cashier looks 1000% done

[bobby wasabi @bobbyteriyaki]

how u 22 and ur parents not divorced yet grow up

[CJ @PeachyPoison]

Living with a man and 3 pets is just an onslaught of farts hitting you from every direction