Max B.

The person currently protecting (and arming) Saudi crown prince Muhammad bin Salman and Egyptian dictator Gen. Abdel El-Sisi, among other savage despots

[Max B. @Proverbsbymax]

The bald spot on the top of my head is like a solar panel for vitamin D

[zach reinert @zachreinert0]

If I’m bottle feeding my daughter and milk starts to over flow out of her mouth, sometimes for fun I’ll be like WHERE IS BIN LADEN

[Max B. @Proverbsbymax]

@elonmusk Good! What’s wrong with Mexicans? My husband is Mexican and he can sure blow a guy. That might be taking jobs from American gays but I honestly think he does it better than any white man.

[Max B. @Proverbsbymax]

@GigaBasedDad What’s funny about that?

[Max B. @Proverbsbymax]

@SarahECozart I am a writer and comedian who loves T Swizzle

[Max B. @Proverbsbymax]

*I don’t cross the street when there are 3 seconds left*

Her: Pussy.

Me: WHERE?!!

[Max B. @Proverbsbymax]

@ayeejuju Just did it for free!

[Max B. @Proverbsbymax]

The eyes are the windows of the soul. Mine’s got birdshit on it

[Max B. @Proverbsbymax]

@therealltlkrow Why are those two preferences contradictory?

[Max B. @Proverbsbymax]

@InternetH0F Because people getting dementia is sad? There is an emotionally useful continuum between sadness and mirth. You use jokes — sometimes dark jokes — to get from here to there. It is a natural and acceptable urge. Like doing people or whatever

[Max B. @Proverbsbymax]

@LibertyCappy I can. She’s being silly. Sometimes people aren’t totally serious. It can be fun to goof around. To goof around is human and everyone should do it. Not being able to do so is a sort of disability and should be pitied.

[Max B. @Proverbsbymax]

@iluminatibot I’m used to regurgitating some kind of empathy statement when I disagree, but I would just like to say that this seems to be forged evidence that CNN is a horrid jewbaiting fuck

[Max B. @Proverbsbymax]

@InternetH0F Mm so sassy

[Max B. @Proverbsbymax]

@RGIII I agree but how is this supposed to convince anyone? The way to be persuasively leftist isn’t to reinforce stereotypes of us by writing a Portlandy slam poem. It’s difficult to have empathy — some people don’t deserve it — but if you want to convince them, compromise.

[Max B. @Proverbsbymax]

@1strocker1 I bet the shot people were more “messed” up. I’m sorry for your son; I hope he takes deep breaths. But this is an oddly family-chauvinistic thing to be sad about, in this crisis.

[Max B. @Proverbsbymax]

@itsJeffTiedrich I am an uncompromising leftist. (Biden isn’t.) But I do despise him with my whole balls. There is evidence for corruption in that he is indisputably shown to have pirated phrases verbatim from other speechmakers, meanwhile running on the “American value” of “authenticity”.

[Max B. @Proverbsbymax]

@RasheeRiceGoat Yes

[Max B. @Proverbsbymax]

@nutzack89 So funny. Very right. They can’t all have realized two days afterward that there was wide-webbed conspiratorial evil afoot

[Max B. @Proverbsbymax]

@kurt13warner This is simply woke-signaling. How is this to convince anyone? This is here to gain you followers and influence. You might be a kind righteous good man but you’re treating your ill-gotten following like a con’s marks.

[Max B. @Proverbsbymax]

@TheOnlyEsta Simple yes or no? But not a poll? If you get your way this will be the most tedious comment section of time, and for no useful end.

[Max B. @Proverbsbymax]

@joncoopertweets @SpeakerJohnson Why does everyone write to be agreed with? That’s not the purpose of writing. It’s shameless exhibitionism. If you’re going to masquerade as a polemicist, rope in those who hate your opinions. That’s the only way to strengthen your position with nuance.