ThingsHeardAtTheVet

Things that come out of people's mouth at the veterinarian, clients or coworkers. Mostly out of context and inappropriate. #vetmed #veterinary #vettech

[ER vet tech @vettechER]

This is why I can’t leave Twitter. I’ve followed so many of you for over a literal decade and I’m just supposed to just close the tab?? Exit stage left???? Nah

[AnonyVet @Anonyvet]

Me: Your cat will have two incisions where we remove the testicles..

Client:You don’t remove both?

Me: We remove both testicles

Client: But hormones! Will I need to give him injections? I’M A DOCTOR!

Me: Also a doctor. Of animals. He’ll be fine.

#vettwitter

[ThingsHeardAtTheVet @QuotesFromVet]

@GMTminus7 I have started to talk to clients like that, equivocating human med vs us. Ive actually had quite a bit of success with it, especially in ER

[ThingsHeardAtTheVet @QuotesFromVet]

Another one of those "You saw my pet six months ago just refill my shit right the fuck now" clients bites the dust.

[ThingsHeardAtTheVet @QuotesFromVet]

@autumnishleaves The denial I've seen recently is crazy! Y'all. Her heart is ✨ literally ✨ broken. I'd be afraid to touch that dog with even a half dose of torb. Much respect to dentistry and the importance of it, but there's definitely a bigger issue than the mouth (at least in this case).

[ThingsHeardAtTheVet @QuotesFromVet]

Dog: Atrial rupture, syncopal episodes, basically gonna die any minute.
Client: So what do you think, can we get her a dental?
Us: 🫠🫠🫠🫠🫠🫠

[ThingsHeardAtTheVet @QuotesFromVet]

Me, an ER tech: Did I tell you about the sad case I had last week with the puppy?
Husband: Probably, but tell me which one. You have a lot of those.

[ThingsHeardAtTheVet @QuotesFromVet]

@Jill_Russo Yeah definitely. I told her the period at the end was what killed me, making it a full complete sentence.

[ThingsHeardAtTheVet @QuotesFromVet]

@Jill_Russo I cackled at it myself 😂😂

[ThingsHeardAtTheVet @QuotesFromVet]

@DJWPLV Eh? The dog had an atrial rupture....there was a large thrombus in the pericardial sac with a slow bleed into it so, yes, a dental is a real issue. Would you anesthetize an atrial rupture patient for a dental prophy? If so I'll be staying far away from you.

[ThingsHeardAtTheVet @QuotesFromVet]

Dr: Hey, do you know the average length of a standard condom? Like 4"?
Me: Average penis size is what....6"? Should we ask Alexa?
D: I dont know, but help me piece this condom back together. I think we've lost a few inches.

[ThingsHeardAtTheVet @QuotesFromVet]

@emilymc2019 Thats kind of adorable. At least he didn't run into a pole at an accelerated pace 😆

[ThingsHeardAtTheVet @QuotesFromVet]

CSR: The lady was rushing in because her dog was in extreme pain and she ran into a pole super hard. The ambulance is out there putting her in a neck brace... here's her dog.

Dog: perfectly chill had anal gland abcess repair done 2 hrs earlier, methadone still on board, wagging.

[ThingsHeardAtTheVet @QuotesFromVet]

@IPetHairyThings It was a soap opera that was ongoing and it sure made the day interesting...and Im a terrible person and laughed

[ThingsHeardAtTheVet @QuotesFromVet]

@StuartHovis Im like...why do you even want to chance it?? I turned into a not so nice person right about then.

[ThingsHeardAtTheVet @QuotesFromVet]

Me: So, we don't put electroic devices in the O2 kennels.
Tech: Why.
Me: Because a spark will ignite the high level of oxygen. Fire. Fire will happen.
Tech: Oh pfftt. My grandad smoked around his O2 and never lit himseld on fire.

[ThingsHeardAtTheVet @QuotesFromVet]

That's absolutely terrifying, no thanks, that's enough Internet for tonight.

[Grace Bunemann, DO @gracebunemann]

During my shift on Wednesday I managed to become a patient myself — giving my eyeball a paper cut with my patients discharge instructions

[ThingsHeardAtTheVet @QuotesFromVet]

@IPetHairyThings @vettechER That's like the time I tried to calligraphy Tucker on a paw print box and it turned out to look like Fucker.

[ThingsHeardAtTheVet @QuotesFromVet]

Someone made a condolence card with wing prints. Yes, the fly is still present.

[ThingsHeardAtTheVet @QuotesFromVet]

@LargeOrangeCat1 @ThatVetNurse222 A dime bag is small enough....then I'll have to make a cremation card..... I'll have an update tomorrow if it's still there 😆

[ThingsHeardAtTheVet @QuotesFromVet]

The things one finds at work.