Samantha Christen

Stand-Up Writer.Comedy Writer. Film Maker. Dreamer. Music Lover.

[Samantha Christen @Real_Sam_Ellia]

@stephanjenkins so pumped to see you guys this coming weekend in NH. Ps. How do us VIPs find out when soundcheck is? SO EXCITED #stephanjenkins #thirdeyeblind #NewHampshire

[Samantha Christen @Real_Sam_Ellia]

@SenSanders Epilepsy medication that is life-saving and NECESSARY for epileptics like myself should not be 500.00 a month

[Samantha Christen @Real_Sam_Ellia]

Just watched @amyschumer ‘s EXPECTING and it was so real, so genuine, so funny and yet made me cry tears of joy. So so happy for her ❤️

[Whitney Cummings @WhitneyCummings]

How are all these women so pissed off about wearing masks okay with wearing underwire push up bras and thongs

[Neal Brennan @nealbrennan]

You know all the dudes who don't want to wear masks were the first ones to buy them on GTA.

[Tatty Macleod @TattyMacleod]

#chrisdelia is a good reminder that hot guys can sexually assault women too.
He isn’t grooming girls because women won’t have sex with him.
He’s grooming girls because they are young girls.

[TayZonday @TayZonday]

Being poor now just leads to being more poor later. Can't pay to clean your teeth? Next year, pay for a root canal. Can't pay for a new mattress? Next year, pay for back surgery. Can't pay to get that lump checked out? Next year, pay for stage 3 cancer. Poverty charges interest.

[Samantha Christen @Real_Sam_Ellia]

Motorcycle drive by ❤ https://t.co/tpqWed6rx5

[Third Eye Blind @ThirdEyeBlind]

Which song is your song?

[B.J. Novak @bjnovak]

Don’t you love when the other person checks their phone and you’re like “don’t mind if I do”

[Chelsea Handler @chelseahandler]

It’s pretty clear that @realDonaldTrump should just be arrested. The idea that each person who is forced to resign from his cabinet is guilty of something @realDonaldTrump isn’t, is ludicrous. Anyone who lies that much , also cheats and steals.

[Sal Vulcano @SalVulcano]

"Don't mention the sock. Don't mention the sock. You don't see the sock. Don't mention that sock..."

[Jessica Chastain @jes_chastain]

Now this is why journalists are heroes. In awe of you @RonanFarrow https://t.co/Vl2XIJBOow

[纸飞机账号~电报账号 @stephanjenkins]

Too right @adriangrenier Straws get stuck in sea turtles noses. Remember people: always slurp / never suck 😛🤘😍 https://t.co/cesq1Rj42d

[Claire K. Robbins, Ph.D., MSW @ClaireKRobbins]

“White women's fears are still being harnessed to uphold the white supremacist patriarchy.” https://t.co/U2DTh9jgA7

[Jessica Chastain @jes_chastain]

This is beautiful @MarkDuplass You are a gem ❤ https://t.co/3CYNLPjOkb

[Third Eye Blind @ThirdEyeBlind]

|| a v a i l a b l e n o w ||

[Fred Delicious 🍆 @Fred_Delicious]

Trump - "I respect women"
Reporter - "Mr Trump, why are you wearing 2 women on your feet like skis?"
Trump - "it is a great honor for them"

[David Simon @AoDespair]

Astonishing to see just how much carnage is required to keep the most overt and ignorant vulgarian from the leadership of our republic.