roobs

cry on the inside like a winner

[𑣲⋆ @luvhuss]

My son saw me putting on concealer under my eyes and said, "why are you doing that?" I said, "It makes me look a bit younger and more awake." He said, "But inside you're old and tired?" And I said yep and he said
"tricky!" with admiration

[Sophia ❣️ @KeruboSk]

A grandmother overheard her 5-year-old granddaughter playing "wedding." The wedding vows went like this:

"You have the right to remain silent, anything you say may be held against you, you have the right to have an attorney present. You may kiss the bride."

[𑣲⋆ @luvhuss]

A little girl and her mom were looking at me at the coffee shop this morning and I heard her mom say "go on, it's ok!" and the little girl shuffled up to me and said
"ex-cuse me please, do you have to put on your tattoos by yourself every DAY or does your mom help you?" Im dying

[r @fowlerfiles]

this might be the funniest tweet ive ever read btw

[Keg. @GratefulKeg]

Type of gluttony they talk about in the Bible.

[2000s @PopCulture2000s]

just finished my christmas tree

[Gelson Luz @gelsonluz]

@pastoralcomical I think every parent has a secret post-bedtime ritual, and ice cream sundaes sound pretty top-tier. My guess is most folks are just quietly enjoying five minutes of silence before realizing they still have laundry to fold. Sounds like they've got it figured out.

[sophia @pastoralcomical]

my friends put their kid to bed and then made us ice cream sundaes which is exactly what i assumed was happening when my parents put me to bed

[Jenni @hashjenni]

This only happens when you're angry or in a hurry

[Emir Han @RealEmirHan]

The voice of Boo in Monsters, Inc. was so young, she couldn’t follow a script. The crew just followed her around with a mic and stitched together her lines from her playtime chatter—pure magic turned into movie dialogue.

[🛸 @tufthug]

being a baby must be scary,imagine sleeping at home & you wake up at TJ maxx

[♰ @reeceollld]

Dear Apple, at no point will I ever text someone “he’ll yeah”

[Spooky Brian Graham 🦬🎃 @iroasmas]

i don’t understand why my cooking was garbage. i did everything right. i drank wine while i cooked. i had a hand towel over my shoulder. literally everything right

[‏ً @omgsidewalks]

clothes too dirty for the closet, but too clean for laundry.
welcome to: the chair

[ᴀʀᴅᴀ Öᴄᴀʟ @Arda]

I know it's all about Taylor Swift and Travis Kelce right now but this is one of the most well timed sports photographs I've ever seen

📸Ray Giubilo

[Kim Kelly @GrimKim]

things were better when the computer lived in its own specific room and you only went in there sometimes