Forward March

Disabled Army Veteran, Bills Mafia, Mental Health Matters, Laughter is the best medicine 🇺🇸🇵🇷 Boricua NO MAGA

[Forward March @RunOldMan]

Lady was pissy when I insisted on walking with her to the parking lot, but it was raining and she had an umbrella.

[𝙳𝚎𝚕𝚒𝚕𝚊𝚑 @Noshitdelilah]

🎶 In my life, I love you more

[X🇨🇦 @FFmaxhyde]

I fucking like wine drunk and fucking high...happy and fucking nappy

[ɢʀɛɛռ ɢօɖ @iGreenGod]

Choosing your long-term health over temporary pleasure is real self-care.

[Víkrám @gvicks]

X is the only place where we fight all day and follow each other to continue tomorrow.

[🐺 Horror Archaeologist 🧛‍♂️ @ClassADude]

Without the sex, Jason would just be another creepy hiker wielding a machete.

[Penny @farmgirlfunny]

She is not wrong

[Michael @michaelo2016]

Them: Weren’t you just at Disneyworld last month?

Me: First of all, lower your unmagical voice

[Michael @michaelo2016]

500 years from now nobody will know the difference. Shoot your shot.

[Víkrám @gvicks]

If content is king, then context is its crown jewel.

[TattoosBeardNGuns @DaddyBugsio]

Before this starts…

I’ve got the Brewers in 6

[ɢʀɛɛռ ɢօɖ @iGreenGod]

*sterilizes every bottle*

*watches the baby chew on a sock from the floor*

*stares at the sock for a second*

*retires from parenting*

[ABoose @A_B00SE]

Some lovers don’t lie to keep you
from leaving. They lie because they
want to keep enjoying a version of
the relationship you would never
agree to if you knew the whole story.

[Forward March @RunOldMan]

@Noshitdelilah 😘😘😘

[Forward March @RunOldMan]

@vexer4000 🤣🤣

[Forward March @RunOldMan]

Sometimes fantasy is better than the real thing.

[Functionally Feral @FeralFerrell]

gotta stop being so dramatic cause I just typed “oh nooooooo” and it autocorrected to “oh moo”, a vastly different sentiment

[David 🎃 @DBStoner]

Even Steven saw what what was happening and called it odd.

[David 🎃 @DBStoner]

Them: Who hurt you.
Me: Self inflicted.

[Deann @CarpeDeann]

I was so burnt out I didn’t see the corporate burnout seminar invite until 3 days after it passed.

[🇨🇦 Smokey 🇨🇦 @420iloveweed]

Rise and grind fuckwads.

[T @BellahJosie]

hey dj, could you play that song endlessly