Sam Newey

T-ball starting pitcher

[Sam Newey @SamNewey33]

A loan shark is a moneylender who charges extremely high rates of interest.
Alone shark is a scary fish with no friends.

[Sam Newey @SamNewey33]

@ryojihye I still do not get the obsession with Natalie Bolton

[Sam Newey @SamNewey33]

@the_real_coach I would love one Coach!

[Sam Newey @SamNewey33]

The hardest part of getting divorced is separating the unity sand.

[once and future wife geist @wife_geist]

david berman voice:

[Farmer Jorflin @mrgipson]

Pop F. Tarkins

[wint @dril]

Carter has passed. An accomplished man. A brilliant legacy. Although for many of us he died years ago when he refused to condemn, gamer gate

[Sam Newey @SamNewey33]

Can't wait for the Dateline episode about how you killed the vibe

[Sam Newey @SamNewey33]

I wish I was an NFL player so I could achieve my life long dream of poorly acting in insurance commercials

[Chad Opitz @chadopitz]

Hawaiians when they get a phone call from "Potential Spam"

[snoopy and friends @snoopyandfrien6]

March 7,1951

[Sam Newey @SamNewey33]

I went to a T-shirt store and all I got was this lousy T-shirt

[kim @KimmyMonte]

bill nye’s full name is william new years eve

[Sam Newey @SamNewey33]

I have a condition called early onset mid life crisis

[Kristen Arnett @Kristen_Arnett]

it was the chicken breast of times, it was the bratwurst of times

[Sam Newey @SamNewey33]

I can’t tell if my apartment building is a real piece of shit or it’s all in my head. I have either have a inferiority complex or live in a inferior complex

[Sam Newey @SamNewey33]

I was skeptical when I first learned about door bells but I decide to not knock it tell I tried

[Sam Newey @SamNewey33]

I heard about this combo therapist and body hair waxer. I’ll probably go when ever I have to get something of my chest

[Sam Newey @SamNewey33]

If you ever do a Burial at sea make sure you don’t do it in a no wake zone