SandfordConstabulary

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[SandfordConstabulary @Sand_Constable]

@Sandford_Police

[SandfordConstabulary @Sand_Constable]

FitBit Step Challege, not gone well over last few days. Today I gaffer taped my FitBit to car aerial while on duty and managed to rack up 32k worth of steps. Back on top. 🤭.

[SandfordConstabulary @Sand_Constable]

WTF is happening with our training department. Newbie tips up, makes a brew and adds milk before hot water !!! Seriously, what are they teaching. 😤.

[SandfordConstabulary @Sand_Constable]

Tried some community engagement earlier, attempted the “Floss” with some kids. Didn’t go too well, currently laid in bed with my lower back covered in Deep Heat and swallowing paracetamol like smarties. Member of public called 999 thinking I was having a seizure 😕.

[SandfordConstabulary @Sand_Constable]

Last week I order an Enviromental Scanner £599 with a code from our approved supplier. Queried by the boss, explained it allow our team to keep up to date with developing incidents. He approved not knowing I’ve ordered a Samsung TV with Freeview, SkyNews 24/7.

[SandfordConstabulary @Sand_Constable]

@Sandford_Police SpunkBucket.

[SandfordConstabulary @Sand_Constable]

@InspGadgetBlogs @Daily_Express It does appear the staff do try but have overwhelming case loads and struggle to get a grip with different licence conditions. Reluctant to recall unless they commit an offence, should be more preventive.

[SandfordConstabulary @Sand_Constable]

Football Fans, vast majority enjoy the game they’ve paid to watch. A few want spend £30 shouting and gesturing to rival supporters and get very upset when the Old Bill has a friendly chat. If you can give it, be a man and take it. Pathetic.

[SandfordConstabulary @Sand_Constable]

@GirlCop_ Boot polish is an amazing thing. Get in early, cover all their ear pieces in said polish, a little layer behind the steering wheel for the driver. Subtle but affective. 🤨

[SandfordConstabulary @Sand_Constable]

@collegepnsc @syptweet @SYFR @NHSEngland @BTP @RNLI @MCA_media @Buxton_MRT @LowlandRescue @jesip999 We’ve got some operational vehicles which look older, do they want them donating.

[SandfordConstabulary @Sand_Constable]

@Nissvik @PC_Angry @InspGadgetBlogs Our ARV’s and PSU Medics carry them along with 02 and full trauma kit. We’ve managed to promote the use of them in general first aid training, but civilian budget holder refuses to issue to all front line staff for personal issue due to 💰

[SandfordConstabulary @Sand_Constable]

2nd day of half term with the 6 & 3yr old, they’ve manage to watch Daddy Home 2 four times. The youngest wants her hair “doing”, my skills stop at a ponytail which she isn’t happy with. 😩

[SandfordConstabulary @Sand_Constable]

Nice of the Higher Management Team to wheel in a tray of once hot buffet food in to the parade room from their working lunch, partially eaten porkpie, curling edges on sandwiches and warm salad. Really appreciate it. 👍.

[SandfordConstabulary @Sand_Constable]

17yr Old CEO. Jesus, when I was 17, I was washing pots in a restaurant to keep my girlfriend in a life she became accustomed too, blagging entry to the local Yates for a WKD and a McDonalds on way home. https://t.co/zQhsGFVlAU

[SandfordConstabulary @Sand_Constable]

@HQCInsp I managed to move 4t on gravel using only a plastic plant pot because barrow was fu%ked. My body ifs full of bad ache.

[SandfordConstabulary @Sand_Constable]

Why do you suddenly reach an age and loose the ability to walk on snow and ice. Just left shops and it looked I was auditioning for Dancing on Ice.

[SandfordConstabulary @Sand_Constable]

Bumped into what I thought was a student officer while making a brew. Thought I’d break the ice “does your Mum know your out so late”. He looked about 14 and never needed a razor. Turns out he’s my new DCI 😬.

[SandfordConstabulary @Sand_Constable]

@Dawnjar17085447 We’ve established he’s not the sharpest tool in the box.

[SandfordConstabulary @Sand_Constable]

Only my child can come home from school with a note informing me that he “accidentally stabbed himself in the leg with a pencil”. 🤔

[SandfordConstabulary @Sand_Constable]

@McrSgt Go for it, just remember where you came from, some gaffers thinks it’s an excuse to find fault with PC’s and Sgt’s when the wheel falls off. Getting out shows you what they face and is huge confidence to the boys and girls