Subpoena

:-)

[We don't deserve cats 😺 @catsareblessing]

My neighbor's cat got my cat pregnant. I woke up to this on my porch 😂

[𝔻𝕒𝕟. @fwdaniels]

im starting to understand the distant uncle

[Nayele18 @nayele18maybe]

Ever read a tweet and think, "Wow that person is mentally unstable," then realize it's your own?

[The Cultured Ruffian @CulturedRuffian]

FLIRTING IN YOUR 40s: I have a bidet at my house.

[NO CONTEXT HUMANS @HumansNoContext]

I swear this happens

[Lazor @Lazor2828]

The only thing better than going to bed is going back to bed.

[SentientBunnySuit🐰 @SuitSentient]

"Look, I'm not going to sugar coat it."
-why my donut shop failed

[star 💫 @stxrinsky]

💀

[juju 💰 @ayeejuju]

when you fake laughed twice already and they still talking

[Lynne McCarthy @LynneMcCarthy]

Guys,
When your prospective father-in-law asks:
"Why do you ask for my daughters hand in marriage?"
Do NOT say: "Because I am tired of using my own"

[McDad @mcdadstuff]

I hate getting older. I can’t even twerk without pulling something anymore

[Dr. Nicole LePera @Theholisticpsyc]

You’re safe.

No one is mad at you.

You can stop assuming.

You’re not that small child in trouble, who can’t relax.

The hypervigilance is from your past.

You’re safe, now.

[sarah rose etter @sarahroseetter]

while i was deep in grief, i was researching brain waves & one thing i learned is that during severe depression/grief, we experience theta waves (which usually occur only before deep sleep) while we are awake. we literally sleepwalk through life due to sadness. just wild.

[AskAubry 🦋 🐆🦝 @ask_aubry]

Mood

[Josh Trebach, MD @jtrebach]

*working in pediatric ER*

me: hi my name is Josh and I’m going to be your doctor today!

kid: what is that *points to badge*

me: this is my hospital ID badge! I was having a very bad hair day that day haha

kid: it looks the same today

me: