Scotty P

Scotty doesn't know.

[Scotty P @ScottyP_Math]

"You know Scott, the best and brightest study business," a family member once told me with a straight face. Clearly he has never witnessed a class full of business majors attempt to maximize profit by setting profit equal to zero.

[Scotty P @ScottyP_Math]

@DanDeBrak Gen Z needs to get with the program

[Scotty P @ScottyP_Math]

Just when you think the auto-transcripts can't get any worse, the definite integral becomes the deafening editorial 😭

[Scotty P @ScottyP_Math]

@LongFormMath Plug in infinity

[ICERM @ICERM]

Applications are open for AMS-Simons Research Enhancement Grants for Primarily Undergraduate Institution (PUI) Faculty! The grant seeks to support researchers at institutions that do not grant PhDs in mathematics. Applications are open until March 20! https://t.co/8Rkks8orjd

[Scotty P @ScottyP_Math]

@Skuttle_Butt I told them to look at last semester's exam that I posted on D2L and this kid said "but I wasn't here last semester."

[Scotty P @ScottyP_Math]

Really could have done without this new Outlook feature that sends me students' passive aggressive emoji reactions to my emails.

[Scotty P @ScottyP_Math]

You got a 10% on your final. But according to CDC guidance, this has been redefined as 80%. Congratulations.

[Scotty P @ScottyP_Math]

@Skuttle_Butt "meet them where they are" 😭

[Scotty P @ScottyP_Math]

Quite the flex waltzing in for your final an hour late, not in one bit of a hurry, with your extra large iced coffee and no pencil

[Scotty P @ScottyP_Math]

@ass_deans Are you sure you wouldn't prefer all A's and B's? Such a simple and obvious way to manipulate the data. Complaints go to zero, retention soars, equity gaps close. You might get a promotion!

[Scotty P @ScottyP_Math]

@jtbrazas Cookies? You really are the best. My BSED cohorts throw rotten tomatoes at me.

[Scotty P @ScottyP_Math]

So today ALEKS claims that y=-x is a parabola and then abruptly cuts off access to dozens of students. It's Week 12, we have an exam, and I have a mutiny. Reason 1729 to dump the proprietary shit for good.

[Scotty P @ScottyP_Math]

@Skuttle_Butt Hey half of mine got up and walked out when they found out there was no attendance quiz on the review day

[Scotty P @ScottyP_Math]

@Skuttle_Butt @Wawa And now you're yik yak famous for it 😎

[Scotty P @ScottyP_Math]

@Skuttle_Butt Wait they're not in your classroom? I went to your room and there was another professor teaching a class there.

[Scotty P @ScottyP_Math]

@WCUBarstool Being the last person picked in gym class? 👀

[Scotty P @ScottyP_Math]

@Super70sSports Unfortunately yes

[Scotty P @ScottyP_Math]

"So when you say the final is cumulative, that means we don't have to take it?"

[Bill Hanage @BillHanage.bsky.social @BillHanage]

This is why people who know infectious disease dynamics have been worried about omicron *regardless* of its intrinsic severity https://t.co/kFcKEagyvA

[CNN International @cnni]

Here are five reasons you should not deliberately catch Omicron to "get it over with." https://t.co/4tOQUdqDIa