Sean Carpenter

Member of parliament for Narnia South

[Sean Carpenter @SeanCarpenter]

@SteveHyett @Nigel_Farage @realDonaldTrump They need to bus in people from Clacton to fill the seats.

[Sean Carpenter @SeanCarpenter]

@SoozUK Make America breast Austin

[Sean Carpenter @SeanCarpenter]

@SteveHyett

[Sean Carpenter @SeanCarpenter]

@RuthWareWriter Under Elon's weird new rule, I think you should still be able to see their posts even if they had blocked you. Looks like it's just that the account has gone.

[Sean Carpenter @SeanCarpenter]

@SteveHyett You can mock, but I was turned down for a job as a helium balloon because I was too heavy.

[Sean Carpenter @SeanCarpenter]

@SteveHyett And coming soon - Tom Holland terrorises the people of London by blowing raspberries at them.

[Sean Carpenter @SeanCarpenter]

@sundersays Hard to see what Jenrick's supporters would gain by lending votes to Cleverly yesterday. Tugendhat was almost certain to be eliminated, and he needed to knock out Badenoch If that was the plan, THIS round would have been the time to do it.

[Sean Carpenter @SeanCarpenter]

@Jo_Caulfield @watsoncomedian Look at the eyes! That bear definitely fancies the bloke who's carrying him.

[Sean Carpenter @SeanCarpenter]

@mjrharris @youngvulgarian I agree with her about the treatment of Diane Abbott, but that did all happen before the election when Rosie was happy to be a Labour candidate.

[Sean Carpenter @SeanCarpenter]

@SteveHyett Oh no! I mean, I have no idea what plantar facilitis is, it sounds like the Latin name for a cactus, but I'm guessing from the 'my bloody' prefix that it's not fun. As long as it doesn't make you do anything else like Kevin Spacey though ...

[Sean Carpenter @SeanCarpenter]

@SoozUK On the plus side, Hue Edwards famously got the tone exactly right, and you still came out of it better in the long run.

[Sean Carpenter @SeanCarpenter]

@sturdyAlex Then they came for me, but I was too out of breath to speak out because of all the smoking.

[Sean Carpenter @SeanCarpenter]

@watsoncomedian Yet CDs are the same price that they were in the early 90's.

[Sean Carpenter @SeanCarpenter]

@ruskin147 Doesn't look mutual 😀

[Sean Carpenter @SeanCarpenter]

@SteveHyett This ...

[Sean Carpenter @SeanCarpenter]

@SteveHyett I make very little on mine. The photo looks like one of those optical illusions where an upside-down picture of a woman frowning looks normal, but when you turn it through 180 degrees you realise the mouth has been photoshopped on the wrong way up.

[Sean Carpenter @SeanCarpenter]

@MadmusclesPlans The 45 - 55 number seems to have been arrived at by photoshopping a 65 year old's head onto a 35 year old's body and then taking an average of the two ages.

[Sean Carpenter @SeanCarpenter]

@SteveHyett To see the young Jeremy Corbyn on the Generation Game ... nice.

[Sean Carpenter @SeanCarpenter]

@SteveHyett Definitely nobody. Absolutely nobody has done an 'Ed Davey on a paddleboard' joke yet either.