The Searchlight

Editor: The Searchlight Making fun of conspiracy theorists wherever I find them. Parody Account.

[The Searchlight @SearchlightThe]

The July issue of The Searchlight is out…

[Julie Borowski @JulieBorowski]

You know the saying:

"Be nice to nerds. You'll be working for one someday."

I was disappointed to grow up and realize that this isn't really true.

Most CEOs seem to be former jocks with social skills and confidence.

So I decided to make it true.

I became self-employed.

[David M. Davis @SSG_Davis_Ret]

Mitch McConnell: Is he still “Alive” or “Dead?”

[Warren @swd2]

They shot him, dragged his lifeless body onto the pavement, and handcuffed his corpse while his 3-year old daughter wearing Bluey pajamas watched in horror. If you say you voted for this you are an empty soulless vessel.

[Brian Krassenstein @krassenstein]

So the F—king ICE agents handcuffed the man they killed In Maine after he was shot?

Isn’t this exactly what Republicans have been attacking police over in the UK for after they did it to a white dude?

Where is your outrage now you hypocrites?

[Jerseygirl #FBR 🟧 @gggirl924]

👇😂👇

[Subi-doo 🐸 @suzamaroo]

Who fucking made this…🤣😂👏🏻

[Callie Sue @AnnRu71347]

Guess what? One of these guys actually has a Nobel Peace Prize.

[Julie Borowski @JulieBorowski]

I know you're probably sick of hearing it, but the experts are right. Being outdoors is great to help cure depression.

I spent the weekend camping and have never been happier....to come home to air conditioning and the absence of mosquitoes.

Ok, I'm grateful now.

[Holly Otterbein @hollyotterbein]

Scoop: Graham Platner privately told staff that he is planning to officially file paperwork to end his Senate campaign on Monday — the drop-dead deadline for him to exit the race. https://t.co/8JUEJdydGw

[Nate Silver @NateSilver538]

What a fucking drama queen and it would surprise absolutely nobody if he "forgets" to file the paperwork

[Brian Krassenstein @krassenstein]

MAJOR BREAKING: multiple bombs have just exploded outside of the hotel where France’s president Macron stayed in Damascus, Syria. At least 18 people have been wounded.

Macron is safe thank God.

[Brian Krassenstein @krassenstein]

BREAKING: There are now multiple reports from a variety of sources on the right and the left, claiming that Mitch McConnell has been unconscious for weeks and is likely braindead..

The fact that family members and Republican insiders are not pushing back on these reports tell you everything you need to know.

Time for a Special Election Kentucky.

[Robert Red Ford™ @TheRobRedFord]

Real patriots don't need to use masks

[Brian Krassenstein @krassenstein]

These are the true definitions of beta males.

They can’t find dates so they get angry about Black people and immigrants. Then they really can’t find dates because nobody wants to be a hateful bigot.

Basically, they gave up on women and wanna instead idolize other hateful men who also gave up on women.