Fake Josh Hawley

(Not the) Missouri Senator. Yale grad and son of banker, just like you. White. Father. National Conservative (#NatC). Husband. Christian. Goy. Totally based.

[Fake Josh Hawley @SenJoshHawly]

Have no fear, citizens: my account has been reinstated now that St. Elon has purged this platform of the Wokists!

[Fake Josh Hawley @SenJoshHawly]

@Angry_Staffer @TheDailyShow No, this is fine. She was a conservative ghoul and the world is better for her having left it.

[Fake Josh Hawley @SenJoshHawly]

@claudiamconwayy Cope and seethe. Tim Scott WILL be my party’s nominee for president, and this is exactly how he’ll do it https://t.co/o30FQpt7Yd

[Fake Josh Hawley @SenJoshHawly]

Children should be forced to do a LOT of things. That’s my position and that of my party

[Fake Josh Hawley @SenJoshHawly]

As long as I’m in Congress, NO class will be protected, be it legal or kindergarten!

[ABC News @ABC]

Justice Sonia Sotomayor accuses the Supreme Court of granting businesses the right "to refuse to serve members of a protected class" for the first time in its history. https://t.co/FDA30zBlY2

[Fake Josh Hawley @SenJoshHawly]

If there’s one thing you can count on us conservatives to do, it’s follow through on promises to build walls!

[Fake Josh Hawley @SenJoshHawly]

@GaryPetersonUSA Such handsome young men!

[Fake Josh Hawley @SenJoshHawly]

The fact that Trump was President and Barr AG in 2020 shows just how deep this conspiracy goes!

[Charlie Kirk @charliekirk11]

Let’s summarize the IRS Whistleblower bombshells, and they are BOMBSHELLS:

Two months before the 2020 election, on Sept 4, 2020, the DOJ ordered a "cease and desist" on any overt investigation of Hunter Biden or Biden family influence peddling

The DOJ tipped off Hunter Biden about a search of his storage unit allowing him to clear it before they arrived

The DOJ blocked executing a search warrant of Joe Biden’s guest house

The DOJ repeatedly blocked more serious charges being brought against Hunter and slow walked the investigation over 5 years

The FBI hid the form 1023, alleged foreign bribery document, from the IRS case attorneys overseeing the case

Whistleblowers have text messages directly linking then VP Joe Biden to Hunter’s Chinese business dealings — when Joe has previously denied any knowledge of Hunter's business.

Those text messages show Hunter threatening to use his father for retaliation if his Chinese partners don't do what he wants: "You will regret not following my direction. I am sitting here waiting for the call with my father."

Oh, and Hunter Biden even expensed his prostitutes on his taxes.

And ABC and CNN are actually covering the news...

The Biden crime family belongs in prison.

[Fake Josh Hawley @SenJoshHawly]

And banning books from society does not equate to banning books from secret compartments in your house (assuming no one finds them)!

These stupid liberals overreact to EVERYTHING!

[What do you want @ErinEckl]

@Steve8yanks @SenJoshHawly Are you actually being serious?

Banning books about slavery?
Haven’t seen that one…
Let’s be clear, removing books from schools does not equate to banning books from society.

What of banning “wrong speak”?
Demanding opinions?
Hate speech laws?
Come now…

[Fake Josh Hawley @SenJoshHawly]

My colleague @SenatorTimScott would clinch this primary in a heartbeat were he to follow my advice and promise an n-word pass to every white American #GOPPrimary #Election2024 #NewRight

[Fake Josh Hawley @SenJoshHawly]

@WildBillNC1978 @Travis_in_Flint AND PRESIDENTIAL HARASSMENT!

[Fake Josh Hawley @SenJoshHawly]

See?? Even the Left see how awful this is!

[NYTPitchbot @DougJBalloon]

The attempted coup in Russia is much more dangerous than the January 6 insurrection, which I did not support, because Vladimir Putin, who I do not support, was democratically elected, unlike Joe Biden.

by Glenn Greenwald

[Fake Josh Hawley @SenJoshHawly]

@bt_darren @thefloridarose @charliekirk11 Then we make the best of it by forcing them to S T A Y pregnant

[Fake Josh Hawley @SenJoshHawly]

@SleepyCongress1 @Steve8yanks I did NOT run, I shuffled spiritedly!

[Fake Josh Hawley @SenJoshHawly]

@Ransom1949 @Travis_in_Flint It’s almost as if he didn’t find anything! Unbelievable!

[Fake Josh Hawley @SenJoshHawly]

I’ve done my best to parse what you wrote, and best I can tell it’s complimentary!

You’re welcome, citizen! 🫡

[Cheryl Robbearts @CRobbearts]

@SenJoshHawly I lived in MO for 22yrs n I've never been more proud of MO's rep. Ur truly speaking for the ppl without fear of reprisal. It's so refreshing to watch. Makes me want to return. Pls cont 4 all of us without a voice.

https://t.co/4bS8cl4AKv

[Fake Josh Hawley @SenJoshHawly]

So much for the tolerant left! At least Ms. Babbitt knew how to take a hot load in the throat

[Fake Josh Hawley @SenJoshHawly]

Amen! TRUMP 2024!!!!

[NYTPitchbot @DougJBalloon]

Opinion | Biden isn’t far enough left for me. So in the 2024 Democratic primary, I’m supporting the anti-vaccine, anti-immigrant, pro-Putin candidate who is backed by right-wing billionaires.

[Fake Josh Hawley @SenJoshHawly]

You will NEVER catch @realDonaldTrump doing such a thing!

[Tim Young @TimRunsHisMouth]

GROSS! Eva Longoria had to move Biden's hands to keep him from groping her at the White House tonight.

I hope these people are happy with the creep they support.

[Fake Josh Hawley @SenJoshHawly]

We must investigate how Joseph ROBINETTE Biden JUNIOR was able to hijack the grand jury’s cognitive functions from afar! What ungodly technology allowed him to do this? This is the #ScandalOfTheCentury

[Fake Josh Hawley @SenJoshHawly]

What a joke this indictment is! It doesn’t contain ONE SINGLE WORD about Hunter Biden’s cock shots. This is less than a nothing burger—it’s a NOTHING HOT DOG 🌭 ⛔️