MasterWu

Long before time had a name…. the first spinjitsu master.

[MasterWu @SenseiMaster_Wu]

@paulchudly Mormon ass name

[America First Works @America1stWorks]

🇺🇸

[MasterWu @SenseiMaster_Wu]

@paulchudly Bene Gesserit 37th century incident (2.2 billion people died and the interplanetary government collapsed). Very similar to how Chinese history tends to go.

[Paul “Chud” Atreides @paulchudly]

The Bene Gesserit are extremely chinese-coded. “Our plans are measured in centuries?” Selectively crossing bloodlines? Yeah you guys aren’t fooling anyone. #由此推断

[Ben Crew @BenjaminCrew1]

"I have to steal the Declaration of Independence because there's a treasure map on the back" is objectively the best plot ever for a movie. We're not going to be able to top that.

[vibrations @v1b3z06]

Ironman’s kinda wild cuz imagine you turn on the news and the CEO of Lockheed Martin just destroyed ISIS in 2 days

[Josh Pate @JoshPateCFB]

After doing some research America winning the World Cup would be an extinction level event for the rest of the world

[Robert Sterling @RobertMSterling]

That’s cute. Does your local pub have a flag on the moon and a stealth bomber?

[Prof. Brian Keating @Briankeating]

Everyone’s talking about Europe’s lack of air conditioning.

I’m still trying to understand why asking for ice in my Coke in Europe feels like negotiating an arms control treaty.

Some civilizations built cathedrals.

Others mastered the frozen cube.

History is complicated.

[Tripp Yshevsky @Tripp_Yshevsky]

Yeahh bro started talking to my ex again bro. Ik man but she got rid of the Cursed Amulet, bro. She swears up and down she overcame the temptation and destroyed it in the eternal fire, and I believe her this time.

[Europoor @theEuropoor]

europeans used to be the pinnacle of humanity and now they just pay taxes or complain about warm weather

[Adam Akbani @AdamAkbani]

*Taps mic*

JJ Wetherholt should be starting in the All-Star game

[The Drunk Republican @DrunkRepub]

Not saying he’s perfect, not saying I agree with everything he does. But I know without a doubt that had Donald Trump not won in 2016 and had he not fought like hell to win in 2024 we’d be Britain by now.

[Skylar Romines @skylarromines]

@yoamomonstruos Americans truly believe they have a chance at anything. That’s a feature not a bug

[Buzz Patterson @BuzzPatterson]

Meanwhile, Seattle….

Our media sucks.

[Nic Agüero @ClawForThatInch]

put the loudest hbcu band in the stands and have them play neck and the fsu war chant all game. boom. problem solved.

[Chris Goble @CGoble04]

Reason #14,756 of why guys like me hate the media:

For months, they screamed, "America isn't ready for the World Cup! It's gonna be a mess!"

Opposite proving true.

We didn't have to build a thing, and every stadium is shining like the new hot chick.

20-something Euro fans are falling in love with Buc-ees, country music, and the South. Country music and NFL stars are treating randos from X to luxury suites and concert tickets. Neighborhoods are throwing bbq's for VRBO foreigners.

America rules. This is incredible. Our best, everyday selves are on display, and we're crushing. Once again, reports of our racist, incompetent demise have been greatly overstated.

America forever 🇺🇸

[Selene Mariposa @Selene_Mariposa]

The World Cup has turned America into a discovery channel for the rest of the world.

And they are not handling it well.
In the best possible way.

Here is what they are discovering:

Free public restrooms. Europeans pay every time.
Free water at every restaurant. Just appears.
Free refills. Coffee. Sodas. Iced tea. Unlimited.
Free chips and salsa before you even order.
Free warm bread with dinner.
Ice in drinks like civilized people.
Air conditioning everywhere. Not a moral debate. A fact.
Parking lots attached to the actual place you are going.
Drive throughs where the food comes to the car while you sit in it.
Ranch dressing by the gallon.
Tex-Mex that cannot be explained only experienced.
Dental care that actually works.
Buccee’s. There are no words for Buccee’s.

Then they found the grocery stores.

Five of them within one mile.
Each one the size of an aircraft hangar.
Burgers. Steaks. Brisket. Ribs. Pulled pork. Lamb. Veal. Every cut of every animal ever domesticated by human civilization available in one refrigerated aisle at ten in the morning on a Tuesday.

The Germans stood in the meat section for forty five minutes.
In silence.
Processing.

They finally understand why we do not have trains.

We have roads wide enough for the cars we actually drive.
Parking lots the size of small European countries.
Airports in every city worth visiting.

Why would we need trains.

The Germans are taking ranch home by the bottle.
The Dutch found queso and briefly lost the ability to speak.
The Japanese are photographing HEB like it is the Louvre.
The Czechs are weeping in West, Texas.

Welcome to America.
Everything is free, enormous, air conditioned, comes with chips, and has five grocery stores within a mile that will sell you any cut of any animal you have ever imagined.

Write that down. 🦋

[Paul “Chud” Atreides @paulchudly]

@USMNT 🚨DO NOT ABBREVIATE CHRISTIAN PULISIC🚨