Shea

Strange things are afoot.

[Shea @Shea_84]

@theronrockstone @shesbonky The woman in this case clearly has major emotional barriers related to sex (likely due to bad experiences that have been repeated over and over):

[Shea @Shea_84]

@SimplePutt @ReubenR80027912 @Contra_Flash I’d have to talk to this couple to be sure, but it really sounds like she’s built up emotional walls around sex that make it hard for her to get into it physically. Likely due to years of bad experiences with sex in the relationship (such as awkward, minimally-pleasurable sex) 1/

[Shea @Shea_84]

@SimplePutt @ReubenR80027912 @Contra_Flash It will take time, but this will help her re-train her body & mind to enjoy physical intimacy without the feelings of guilt/anxiety. That is the start to a much happier sex life. They may also need to work on ways to increase her sexual pleasure (more hands, oral, toys, etc.). 5/

[Shea @Shea_84]

@SimplePutt @ReubenR80027912 @Contra_Flash They need to add lots more physical intimacy that is separate from sex. He has to prove to her that he genuinely wants all these forms of physical intimacy with her for their own sake, not only as a way to get sex. 10-second kisses, cuddle her sensually in bed w/out sex, etc. 4/

[Shea @Shea_84]

@newsom_maryann @wil_da_beast630 Yes, but…if she’s rarely interested in sex, that can mean that he’s not doing the things that will help her feel interested in sex. So, in that sense, he might also be failing to satisfy her sexually.

[Shea @Shea_84]

@cherpers @brittilina It might also be a societal/cultural problem. We aren’t doing a good job at all of helping men become knowledgeable about and skilled at this stuff,

[Shea @Shea_84]

@cherpers @DirkTheDaring76 @brittilina Agree it’s not her job. I would add that we (collectively) are doing a terrible job of teaching boys/men how to be good men in these respects.

[Shea @Shea_84]

@GayBearRes What about the best option: improving the sexual dynamic so their sex life naturally improves? Not *always* possible, but it’s certainly possible for many, many couples in this situation.

[Shea @Shea_84]

@Elizabe92463273 @roxanaraduc @TransChicken2 It sounds like this summary is based on the (unreleased) video from Nowak’s phone.

[Shea @Shea_84]

@wil_da_beast630 Yeah, he says as much in the video

[Shea @Shea_84]

@wil_da_beast630 Dude’s almost certainly Sikh. Does that change anything for you?

[Shea @Shea_84]

@CourtneyLC80 @wil_da_beast630 He’s Sikh, no?

[Shea @Shea_84]

@TheBlogisRome @yashar It’s June 1st, but he’s also throwing in a bit of April 1st…

[Shea @Shea_84]

@ElCapitanMurica @yashar Why? You didn’t think he was…you know…did you?

[Shea @Shea_84]

@wolfminde @jess_ann_pin https://t.co/elEbOZYXBL

[Jessica Pin @jess_ann_pin]

Actually, the most attractive men are the most moral on average.

This is how, as a Stacy, I made it to 35 with zero awareness that any men in my dating pool were deceptive.

The one time a guy had casual intentions without telling me, as far as I knew, he invited me to punch him in the face, apologized, explained he had just gone through a terrible breakup, and was a loyal friend for years.

There was one other time. But that guy wasn’t a true Chad and he convinced me the problem was me so I didn’t catch on until much later that the problem was his dishonesty and intentional manipulation when he knew he wasn’t serious about me. To justify himself, he told me no one would be serious about me so I quit dating for years.

So I made it to age 35 in lala land because most Chads are great guys if I’m honest. And I wish I had not become so distrusting after I read @ProfDavidBuss, dated a legitimate asshole raised in a cowshed (Chad outlier who wasn’t properly socialized), and saw men admit to their horrible behavior online.

The Chads, especially the Forever Chads (always been hot), are the best guys. It sounds bad to say but it’s true.

[Shea @Shea_84]

@jess_ann_pin @Darin_Feather How many long-term relationships have you had (and how recent)? How long did they last? Are you truly open to a relationship that will evolve and grow over time (accepting that it won’t always be “perfect”)?

[Shea @Shea_84]

@jess_ann_pin @Darin_Feather Are you looking for the same result over and over, or are you hoping for a new result? You might need to change *something* about your approach/mindset around sex & dating, because it sounds like you’re going through a *lot* of guys and are no closer to something that will last.

[Shea @Shea_84]

@lisanhenry @nyaraVT I think this was nyara’s failed attempt at a gotcha: “J.K. Rowling no longer has large gametes (due to her age), therefore she wouldn’t be a woman under that definition!” Not a strong argument…