Bleating Apocalypse

The Official Twitter of Bleating Apocalypse: for fans of extreme metal, easy listening, and Laurence Llewellyn-Bowen.

[Quite Interesting @qikipedia]

A certified poet from Slough,
Whose methods of rhyming were rough,
Retorted, ‘You'll see
That the letters agree,
And if that’s not sufficient, I’m through’
PUNCH, 1935

[Quite Interesting @qikipedia]

After getting trapped in his walk-in freezer in 2018, a butcher escaped by using a frozen black pudding as a battering ram.

[Bleating Apocalypse @Sheepcore]

Our annual Christmas card from clan @LlewelynBowen is here, and more resplendent than ever.

Our absence has been much longer than anticipated, but rest assured that we WILL be back, and this union is for life, not just for Christmas...

#WeAreHisRepresentativesOnEarth

[Andy Davidson @totalwormage]

Worms x Jim’ll Paint It

https://t.co/wu9TJQ9b3P

Adapted for Worms by King Gizzard

// WORMS: THE DIRECTOR’S CUT 1.5
// COMING JANUARY 2025

[Ba'al @baalbanduk]

Ba'al // Soft Eyes

Ornamental Doll
Yearn to Burn Bright
Bamber Bridge

Produced by @joenostudio

Mastered by Brad Boatright of Audiosiege

Artwork by our own Nick Gosling

[Kids Write Jokes @KidsWriteJokes]

Do you know why 6 is afraid of 17?

Because 17 is a bigger number

[Ba'al @baalbanduk]

Ornamental Doll, the first track from our forthcoming EP 'SOFT EYES', is available to stream RIGHT NOW. Head over to @IDIOTEQ to watch the lyric video and read an interview about the song, the EP and more. https://t.co/FD1wvoS5Tg

[James Lucas @JamesLucasIT]

People who accidentally found their doppelgängers in museums - a thread 🧵

[Fesshole🧻 @fesshole]

Started amusing myself in work meetings by adding "No pun intended" after comments I make with absolutely no pun or double meaning in them, then spend the next five minutes watching people's faces as they are clearly trying to work out what the "pun" was

[WILL CHICH @WillChich]

Alan Partridge as #Oscars2024 nominees. #oscars 
A thread:
AMERICAN FICTION

[Bleating Apocalypse @Sheepcore]

IT'S THE MOST FAB-YULE-US TIME OF THE YEAR.

Bleating Apocalypse X @LlewelynBowen forever

#WeAreHisRepresentativesOnEarth

#BlackMetalInteriorDesign

[VeryBritishProblems @SoVeryBritish]

It’s the time of year for incredibly bleak round robin letters from distant family.

“It’s good to be writing to you after an interesting year. Sharon failed her driving exam for the third time. Tom’s divorce looks like it’ll be finalised soon, but it’s dragging on. My hip still isn’t right after the fall but haven’t managed to book an appointment with the doctor. The roof fell off the house so the carpet’s getting wet when it rains which isn’t ideal. The cat finally died - I think I mentioned he was ill in the letter last Christmas. John continues to get old.

Anyway, Merry Christmas.”

[Rob Temple @RobTemple101]

That’s today’s advent calendar eaten. Delicious. Looking forward to tomorrow’s already.

[Satan @s8n]

Guys, can you stop sacrificing goats to me, instead sacrifice some chicken nuggets please.

[Mascots Minute Silence @MascotSilence]

Yeovil Town’s Sombre Green Giant @YTFC

[Fake Showbiz News @FakeShowbizNews]

Police launch major investigation into allegations dozens of ‘You’ve Been Framed’ pratfalls shown between 1990 and 2022 were staged.

It is understood the probe will focus on grown-ups attempting to use children’s play equipment

[Bleating Apocalypse @Sheepcore]

Bass recording for the new album is now at 100% completion.

This is The Motherfunker, a brand new pedal designed, built and operated by our Chief Rumble Officer, Colin Thunderskull.