Shit Bake®

"Like Jagger on an overdose of laxatives."

I talk about farting a lot. Sometimes weird Portland stuff.

And farting. Mostly farting.

[Hukt on fonix  @the_turtle]

Ah, yeah, the yearly "who's paying for this waste of jet fuel" and the local airbase will respond that it was a planned "training mission."

That just happened to obtain clearance for a flyover of the Rose Bowl.

On a federal holiday.

[Hukt on fonix  @the_turtle]

Every time the assholes on any weather network say "impactful," I mentally reach through the screen and rip their tongue out with hot dog tongs.

@weatherchannel

@foxweather

@accuweather

You all sound like fucking high-school morons.

[Shit Bake® @ShitBake]

"ADL finds uptick in stupid white boys."

https://t.co/lR33ZuYaoU

[Shit Bake® @ShitBake]

Another decent bar lady lost to sperm poisoning. Oh, well.

[Shit Bake® @ShitBake]

I just farted an incredibly rancid fart on the sidewalk near the pub.

Next time, don't walk so closely behind old guys, hipsters.

[Shit Bake® @ShitBake]

@DirtyDAN3344 I HAVE CRACKED WINDOWS AND SET OFF CAR ALARMS HALF A BLOCK AWAY.

[Shit Bake® @ShitBake]

@CartoonsHateHer WELL, YEAH! DON'T DISS MY HERITAGE.

[Shit Bake® @ShitBake]

@UberSoc yeah, like updating your damn app.

[Shit Bake® @ShitBake]

@sheriffkevin do you know thoae guys ar @badlipreading ?

[Shit Bake® @ShitBake]

@MDcoach21 @TheyFarted cat farts are nasty.

[Shit Bake® @ShitBake]

@pdxalerts old guys taste like crap.

Eat squirrels.

[Shit Bake® @ShitBake]

Evinity (for bone loss) cost: about $2,000 a month.

[Shit Bake® @ShitBake]

Quviviq (sleep aid) cost: about $500 a month.

[Shit Bake® @ShitBake]

@zukosmama @TheyFarted it was ME!!!! HAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAAHAHA i farted again sorry

[Shit Bake® @ShitBake]

Opzelura (for mild eczema) cost: about $2300 a tube.

[Shit Bake® @ShitBake]

@NWSPortland we miss out on all the fun.

[DC Observer @thedcobserver]

If you have holiday and New Years parties to attend, and you're planning on wearing those asinine stripper heels, stop.

You look like a goddamn drunken giraffe. You may think you stylin', but no, we're all laughing at you and we set up a pool for how long till you break an ankle

[Shit Bake® @ShitBake]

@UberSoc so nice to see you post about things that have nothing to do with updating code.

[Shit Bake® @ShitBake]

@Buntater @TheyFarted i blame anybody but. After all, who bought that couch?