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As a psychiatrist and mom watching children in the US go back to school, I’m reminded of the pandemic and its terrible setback on students’ psychological development. Then I think of Gazan kids starting their 3rd year of no school, food, family etc. The setbacks are unimaginable.
To my Muslim fam feeling paralyzed by the devastation of Gaza,
I feel it too.
But what helps me is to remember the Prophet Muhammad (s) told us to plant the sapling even as the Final Hour comes.
To do good even as the world is ending.
It all matters. Keep going.
We often lament “why did it take me so long [to learn/change]?”
But remember, change requires unlearning before learning. A sacrifice of what is familiar and easy for what is new and hard. And then it requires repetition.
It doesn’t matter when you started. Keep going.
Let your grief soften your heart, fam. For the heart is the only thing in the world that when broken is most alive.
When it is most capable of self growth, of compassion for others and of changing the world.
For all of us struggling with guilt for having so much when others have so little, try this:
Reframe guilt into gratitude. Both motivate but guilt burns us out. Gratitude does not
Turn guilt into gratitude.THEN use gratitude to put good into the world.
Guilt➡️Gratitude➡️Good
Propaganda I’m not falling for:
Politics have no place in therapy.
Yes, politics can and should have a place. Ignoring systemic causes of mental distress severely limits the benefit of therapy.
Tragic news continues to arrive in these days from the Middle East, especially from Gaza. I express my profound sadness regarding last Thursday’s attack by the Israeli army on the Catholic Parish of the Holy Family in Gaza City, which as you know killed three Christians and gravely wounded others. I pray for the victims, Saad Issa Kostandi Salameh, Foumia Issa Latif Ayyad, Najwa Ibrahim Latif Abu Daoud, and I am particularly close to their families and to all the parishioners.
FAQ: How do I identify a relationship I need a boundary with?
Answer: If you can’t share your successes without fear of their jealousy and you can’t share your failures without fear of their judgment, then you need boundaries.
Not mine but a quick tool in supporting someone going through a difficulty is to ask them the three H’s.
“Do you need HELP (a solution)? To be HEARD (to vent)? Or a HUG (physical comfort)?”
Help. Heard. Or Hug.
Works with kids & adults. It’s not a fix, but it’s a start.
To successfully grow and progress you must have 2 qualities.
1. Thick skin
2. Soft heart
1 to stand firm on your goal no matter what hits you. 2 to keep your humanity and self-compassion in the process.
Have only 1, you become jaded.
Have only 2, you become hopeless.
To all the artists out there finding it pointless to make art as the world seems to be falling apart,
You’re wrong.
The only way to fight destruction is to create.
We need you now more than ever.