Jasmine Thee Worm 🪱

Theatre manager, but I mostly use this space to shitpost. she/her. Dumb jokes are my own.

[Jasmine Thee Worm 🪱 @Shut_up_jasmine]

Can’t help but think this would all be moot if we were noncorporeal thoughtforms not confined to mortal flesh prisons but that’s none of my business

[Jasmine Thee Worm 🪱 @Shut_up_jasmine]

@HKYJersey M

[Jasmine Thee Worm 🪱 @Shut_up_jasmine]

@HKYJersey Large please

[Jasmine Thee Worm 🪱 @Shut_up_jasmine]

@ADHDForReal Honestly? For ADHD folks especially, just take an improv class

[Jasmine Thee Worm 🪱 @Shut_up_jasmine]

@ADHDdesigner The last time my doctor upped my dosage, I realized it was stronger than what I needed most days. But instead of readjusting, I just split the pills and start with half now. That plus weekends off effectively doubles my supply, which has been so necessary during the shortage

[Jasmine Thee Worm 🪱 @Shut_up_jasmine]

Gonna tell my kids this was boygenius

[kelsey mckinney @mckinneykelsey]

Listen I don’t make the rules but imagine how quick the Phillies would win the World Series if they kissed just a little

[Jasmine Thee Worm 🪱 @Shut_up_jasmine]

@lecreuset

[Jasmine Thee Worm 🪱 @Shut_up_jasmine]

@MediumSizeMeech Oh, I loved him in Dune

[Jasmine Thee Worm 🪱 @Shut_up_jasmine]

This 14th #SpeakerVote is about to become my 13th reason

[liam ✨ @birduniversity]

the silly goose convention called, they asked if you could be their keynote speaker

[Jasmine Thee Worm 🪱 @Shut_up_jasmine]

@SuperYakiShop Will these only be available in person at the Super Market? I will pay someone handsomely to ship me one of these 🥺🥺🥺

[Preston D. Mitchum @PrestonMitchum]

Oh. My. God.

[Jasmine Thee Worm 🪱 @Shut_up_jasmine]

Raising Jacques Lacan from the dead to ask him how to exit the mirror stage

[Jasmine Thee Worm 🪱 @Shut_up_jasmine]

Sleeping is just dissociation for normies

[Jasmine Thee Worm 🪱 @Shut_up_jasmine]

The Kubler-Ross Dress for Less Grief Cycle

[Jasmine Thee Worm 🪱 @Shut_up_jasmine]

@LM_Dubya I can’t tell you how many times I’ve talked myself out of tweeting this I’m sorry

[Jasmine Thee Worm 🪱 @Shut_up_jasmine]

You’re telling me all of Boston creampied this donut??

[Jasmine Thee Worm 🪱 @Shut_up_jasmine]

Me, deeply respectful of my Italian boyfriend’s culture: one martino, please

[Jasmine Thee Worm 🪱 @Shut_up_jasmine]

@danny_getz Genuinely love that every Philly sports mascot is just a walking shitpost

[Jasmine Thee Worm 🪱 @Shut_up_jasmine]

Reading about the Philadelphia Union’s mascot and I feel like I’m having a stroke: https://t.co/tRee7Ghyxp

[Jasmine Thee Worm 🪱 @Shut_up_jasmine]

@akaEmmaMcIvor I think a literal child dictated this to someone and they all just went with it??