Simone Samuels

I don't know what to put here. I read thoughts. I have thoughts. I share thoughts. Not everything shared here reflect my thoughts.

[Simone Samuels @SimoneMSamuels]

When their shoppers constantly frig up your orders, when you complain and provide PROOF of spoiled produce, message history and physical receipts, @ubereats will constantly tell you that regardless of the preponderance of the evidence your order is still not eligible for refund.

[Simone Samuels @SimoneMSamuels]

If you want something done properly you truly have to do it yourself. The thing is, I couldn't do it myself. If I could, I would have. These @ubereats shoppers are so exhausting.

Why can't y'all pick up a simple bag of 🍋, especially when I reiterated it in the order notes?

[Simone Samuels @SimoneMSamuels]

(in this case I provided photos of the moldy lemon, bruised strawberries, wilted mint, and the fact I asked for bagged, not loose lemons). @Uber_Support

Make a new years resolution to use another app for grocery shopping.

[Simone Samuels @SimoneMSamuels]

@Uber_Support This was yesterday. As of now it has 3.8K likes.

[Simone Samuels @SimoneMSamuels]

If you want something done properly you truly have to do it yourself. The thing is, I couldn't do it myself. If I could, I would have. These @ubereats shoppers are so exhausting.

Why can't y'all pick up a simple bag of 🍋, especially when I reiterated it in the order notes?

[Simone Samuels @SimoneMSamuels]

@Uber_Support I still haven't received a response from @UberEats via email as promised despite having provided all of the requested information. My Thread (on Threads) about this situation has gone viral.

[Simone Samuels @SimoneMSamuels]

Especially when the picture is of a bag of 🍋? And the shopper picked up MOLDY, LOOSE lemons at that?! THIS IS THE SECOND TIME I GOT LOOSE LEMONS WHEN I EXPRESSLY ASKED FOR BAGGED. And y'all keep f*cking up my orders otherwise. And then you wanna tip?! 🙄 @ubereats do better.

[Merriam-Webster @MerriamWebster]

‘Cornucopia’ comes from ‘cornu copiae,’ which translates literally as “horn of plenty.”

And we all remember the “Fruit of the Loom” logo having a horn of plenty, right?

Right??

[Simone Samuels @SimoneMSamuels]

I know it's hard to shop Canadian as a plus-sized gal but we can try!

[Simone Samuels @SimoneMSamuels]

Let's make a list of size inclusive Canadian brands and retailers! 🇨🇦

I'll go first:

@sheertex - literally the BEST tights I've ever owned
Knix
@penningtons
@laluxefemme
@CurveTheoryPlus
@modernrascals
@gussiedupplus
Laura Plus
@more2lovebridal

Who else? What else?

[Justin Trudeau @JustinTrudeau]

There isn’t a snowball’s chance in hell that Canada would become part of the United States.

Workers and communities in both our countries benefit from being each other’s biggest trading and security partner.

[Simone Samuels @SimoneMSamuels]

🎄Bubble and Bells THIS Sunday! - https://t.co/B5lE3Bn1Km

[Kima Jones🦉🖌🔮🗽📚🚀♠️🔫📝😷🔪🦪🐍🌕🐎 @kima_jones]

This is so pleasing to me. My God.

[Mabintou @mabintou]

Then add being compatible & dedicated enough to last long term? Finding “your person” is a lot of luck, bit of work and overall a real big blessing.

[- @chanteshanice_]

I noticed that we seek validation the most when we're ignoring our intuition, because we need extra convincing to go against ourselves.

[Simone Samuels @SimoneMSamuels]

We've lost touch and I only had her Yorku email address. Hopefully one day she sees this. I think about her from time to time and hope she's doing well. 💓

[Simone Samuels @SimoneMSamuels]

Yes! And since it worked for @FlawsofCouture I hope it works for me! Her name is Xiao. She was my classmate in one of my political science classes @GlendonCampus. She's a diabetes doctor from China. This is a picture from when she invited me to her house in Mississauga.

[Zainab Balogun 🇬🇧🇳🇬 @Zainab__Balogun]

Do you ever randomly think about someone from your past and think, “I hope you’re well, wherever you are”?

[Simone Samuels @SimoneMSamuels]

She was a mature student and people used to make fun of her accent anytime she answered questions in class (Prof. Radha Persuad's class). I befriended her (my mom was a mature student; I think mature students are brave). We used to take the subway together. She has a son.

[Simone Samuels @SimoneMSamuels]

@readbystephanie for NF, would you be interested in a book on adult virginity?

[Simone Samuels @SimoneMSamuels]

@helizbennett I recognize that this tweet is six years old, but I have a query letter and am working on a book proposal about adult virgins (virgins after 25/35). Would you be interested? (I'm a 36-year-old virgin myself and happen to be chronically single. lol)