Sir Richard Burton

There were some errors in the Kama Sutra. Fixed 'em. Added a few. Okay, added a lot.

[Sir Richard Burton @SirDickBurton]

@willythebastard Try using a forked skewer like a trident, but really with testicles you can go higher. This Mughal guy I knew showed me. 8O

[Sir Richard Burton @SirDickBurton]

@GeneralIdi_Amin I can't think of anyone who doesn't want to box with old Puddin' Putin at least once. Mean jab, jaw of granite.

[Sir Richard Burton @SirDickBurton]

@NotATiger Power corrupts; absolute power makes you an absolute motherfucking dickhole.

[Sir Richard Burton @SirDickBurton]

Oh my god cliff bars are so fucking good. Why the hell weren't these around when I was trekking all the to Buttfuckistan (real place).

[Sir Richard Burton @SirDickBurton]

@NotATiger I can never remember, is it Leh vee uh THAN or Leh VIE uh than?

[Sir Richard Burton @SirDickBurton]

Trek halfway across Assfrica to find some stupid lake and then, two days away, we almost get knifed by natives. Why? #BecauseOfPussy

[Sir Richard Burton @SirDickBurton]

@LouisDieudonne "Infidel" close enough.

[Sir Richard Burton @SirDickBurton]

Yessss.... Final Jeopardy: "Middle Eastern Religions" ....YESSSSS

[Sir Richard Burton @SirDickBurton]

How come all the bi girls on okcupid are fat? COME ON.

[Sir Richard Burton @SirDickBurton]

Yo, Speke. Remember when you were dying of malaria of the everything? Yeah, who fed your bitch ass? Me. Lake Speke my FUCKING BALLS.

[Sir Richard Burton @SirDickBurton]

@Marty_Luther The more I study religions the more I am convinced that man never worshipped anything but himself.

[Sir Richard Burton @SirDickBurton]

@seehearnoevil oiafrsohdiuvbggtibunsifp[pppiouhygtf ("I think deaf chicks are hot" in Pashtani, LOL)

[Sir Richard Burton @SirDickBurton]

@UKProtector Ugh, the whole colony scene is sooo 18th century. Get with the times man.

[Sir Richard Burton @SirDickBurton]

@Mans_BFF Duuude, we need to road trip. I'm thinking somewhere warm. Africa is nice this time of year. (No thunderstorms ;)

[Sir Richard Burton @SirDickBurton]

@GeorgiaFlannery When in Mecca, do as they do in Mecca or they will tear you a new pecan pie hole.

[Sir Richard Burton @SirDickBurton]

@Marty_Luther Some of these Indian bastards have more wives than you have theses.

[Sir Richard Burton @SirDickBurton]

Fuck me, I want some ribs.

[Sir Richard Burton @SirDickBurton]

Yeah, Allahu Ackbar, whatever you guys say.