Sam.i.am

GOMS | @plantbab’s hands are my favorite necklace | Views are mine and not my employer's. She/They | 27 | 🔞DNI | 🏳️‍🌈🏳️‍⚧️

[Sam.i.am @SkidmarkM]

Overheard some customers at work today:
"I love yung gravy, I'd let him use my throat like a daycare."

[Sam.i.am @SkidmarkM]

this would continue, btw, into me being old enough to vacuum as a chore, and needing to put on my dad’s gun range ear muffs to be able to do the task.

[Sam.i.am @SkidmarkM]

you know in hindsight, i’m surprised my parents never suspected i was on the spectrum as a child, especially given that i would lock myself in my room, and out on some headphones to drown out the vacuum and the blender

[Sam.i.am @SkidmarkM]

if any team should be relocated and get a new stadium, it should be the 49ers.

[Adam Schefter @AdamSchefter]

San Francisco 49ers coach Kyle Shanahan suffered significant injuries in a car accident during his summer break in mid July that now will leave him limited as the team opens training camp.

Shanahan broke his nose, three ribs, his hand, needed over 40 stiches in his face and suffered a severe concussion during a July 14 car accident when he collided with an SUV near his northern California home, per me and @nwagoner.

[Sam.i.am @SkidmarkM]

@strain4brain he’s gonna pull a polanco and deliver the walkoff hit to send us to the World Series, calling it now

[Sam.i.am @SkidmarkM]

@one_anaid @cutelipsxx respectfully, no. i was told as a kid that "they're in a better place," among a bunch of other euphemisms for death, and it fundamentally ruined my perception of death until my late teens. treat kids like real people. be honest with them. don't avoid a talk just because its hard.

[Sam.i.am @SkidmarkM]

the fuck is wrong with my cat?

[Sam.i.am @SkidmarkM]

she might be a touch too big lol

[Sam.i.am @SkidmarkM]

got the petco baseball cat tree, will report back on how the gremlin enjoys it

[Sam.i.am @SkidmarkM]

got the petco baseball cat tree, will report back on how the gremlin enjoys it

[Seattle Mariners @Mariners]

#NewProfilePic for Jimothy

[Sam.i.am @SkidmarkM]

i love having the best DOT in the country

[Washington State DOT @wsdot]

New litter PSA just dropped

[Max 🔱🫎 @fischybusinesss]

West Coasters seeing everyone in the east coast/Midwest dealing with wildfire smoke

[Sam.i.am @SkidmarkM]

@Gangmer2 i thought this was gonna be a Land Down Under edit at first lmao

[Sam.i.am @SkidmarkM]

@revelation146 i am so sorry 😭

[Sam.i.am @SkidmarkM]

@Z33Queen just order everything w/o lettuce and you’re good o7

[Sam.i.am @SkidmarkM]

@syndoniic a single* brain cell, jfc. clearly it wasn’t my turn with it this morning 😭

[Sam.i.am @SkidmarkM]

@syndoniic “he needs to be kicked off the show, he’s literally the worst person in existence,” said twitter user “he huckle my robb til i flatline”

i’ve never seen a line braincell be strained so hard to form a simple thought lmao

[Sam.i.am @SkidmarkM]

@sofiabuffgf so they can call me a good girl 🥰

[Sam.i.am @SkidmarkM]

@49eerfc “taking the midnight train to pound town” has yielded some good results 🤷‍♀️