Jen

[Jen @SleepEatScream]

I’m a delight to be around once I’ve had my coffee.

[Skurt Vonnegut @ThisLocalHater]

It's only cute when I drive like shit. The rest of you need to get it together.

[SixStringTrucker @MrEd_EVH]

People that bet money that I will quit when shit gets ruff….are gonna lose a lot of money

[Midnight Cowboy 🇺🇸 @cowboyjeffkent]

Your secret is safe with me considering I already forgot the tweet I had originally intended to write here

[Marcmywords @Marcmywords2]

Remember guys, when arguing with a woman, Logic and Facts are no match for Cleavage.

[Bob Cobb @burnthair]

Somehow, I have accumulated a battalion of store brand garlic powder.

[Marcmywords @Marcmywords2]

People that call this place X are the same pretentious posers that refer to UFOs as UAPs.

[DaddyJew @DaddyJew]

sounds like this owl outside my window has quite the mystery on his hands

[DaddyJew @DaddyJew]

Me: goodnight moon

Moon: bing bong

[😈🤡 𝕁.𝕄.😋🤡 @JustaJok3r]

Don't be too hard on the people here who spend all day bitching, complaining, and being assholes.
They're probably crying out for help on the inside...

Or a big fat dick in their ass.

[JB @solo_wandering]

I don’t want to sound too romantic…

but I’d let you hold my hands while you face fuck me

[JB @solo_wandering]

The thing that sucks is you have to invest time in getting to know people before you can discover that they’re a shitty person

[Messages @thesadsms]

"are u okay?" no, i miss your voice, i miss talking to you, i miss you.

[Sir Chequered Past 🇬🇧 @chequeredpast]

If the cops pull you over while listening to Van Halen they’ll let you go

[DaddyJew @DaddyJew]

there’s no telling how many times you may have forfeited your soul in the terms and conditions

[𝓜𝓮𝓱𝓻𝓲💫 @meh_thinks]

The greatest skill you can develop is the ability to figure things out.

[𝓜𝓮𝓱𝓻𝓲💫 @meh_thinks]

We’re all running out of “someday.” Go do what makes you happy.

[Social Outcast @SocialOutcast82]

I'm a genuine pleasure to be around as long as I'm left completely alone.

[SpecialKimtamine™ 🏴‍☠️🇺🇸🇮🇹🚩 @LorazeKim]

Fuck flowers…. give me your favorite mixtape

[SpecialKimtamine™ 🏴‍☠️🇺🇸🇮🇹🚩 @LorazeKim]

I don’t skedaddle enough

[JB @solo_wandering]

Whip it out Wednesday

your debit card…buy someone a coffee and start a pay it forward trend