staymos

if it cost a nickel to shit I’d puke

[Andrew Hilary🇵🇸 @AndrewHilaryUS]

Imagine a season of True Detective with these two

[The Mysterious Fucking Detective @bladesbaseee]

How a mysterious fucking detective sees the world…

[boop @xboxbodywash]

hot take: central park should be paved over and turned into how a mathematician sees the world

[Ryan B. Anderson @OldHollowTree]

You know what?

Make him the detective anyway.

[duck @ExtremeBlitz__]

when somebody steals your tweet and gets a banger off of it

[first ethical space cowboy @cowboybecsbop]

funniest tweet to receive death threats over lol

[M ☆ @duskgumi]

OMG THE HYPERPIGMENTATION FAMILY RECREATED THE VIDEO 😭

[Ichigo Niggasake @SomaKazima]

"Stuns with family" BITCH THAT'S JUNIE CORTEZ

[Toad @ItsToad_]

As per my previous tablet…

[Elon Musk @elonmusk]

Just received this note from a SpaceX engineer helping on the ground in North Carolina.

@FEMA is not merely failing to adequately help people in trouble, but is actively blocking citizens who try to help!

“Hey Elon, update here on site of Asheville, NC. We have powered up two large operating bases for choppers to deliver goods into hands. We’ve deployed 300+ starlinks and outpour is it has saved many lives.

The big issue is FEMA is actively blocking shipments and seizing goods and services locally and locking them away to state they are their own. It’s very real and scary how much they have taken control to stop people helping. We are blocked now on the shipments of new starlinks coming in until we get an escort from the fire dept. but that may not be enough.”

[End Wokeness @EndWokeness]

"$2.4 billion aid to Ukraine" vs "No more aid for Hurricane Helene" - 3 days apart

[Tromac 🫶🏾 @Tromac_wav]

British people prolly call this “Nuts and Bolts” or some shit

[dille @flurryfrenzy]

this is one of my favorite frames in anything ever

[Dom Lucre | Breaker of Narratives @dom_lucre]

🔥🚨BREAKING NEWS: Over 197K people are currently watching a livestream to see if a head of lettuce will outlive Joe Biden. The lettuce is currently the projected winner while being up at 52%.

This is can’t be real life anymore...

[Crazy Clips @crazyclips_]

Nebraska police pulled over a man with a “Watusi bull” riding shotgun 😳

[Elon Musk @elonmusk]

lol

[Luis Vercetti @97Vercetti]

Riley's anxiety vs My anxiety

[Libs of TikTok @libsoftiktok]

BREAKING: The driver involved in a four-car crash in Maine which left one woman dead and shut down the highway for hours is in our country illegally.

Oguzhan Cildir was described as a Maine resident at the time. He entered our country illegally in January.

Biden's Border Bloodbath has claimed another innocent life.

[Elon Musk @elonmusk]

Bet you didn’t know that this administration is flying hundreds of thousands of illegals into America using your tax dollars …