Snigger Squirrel

"Those damn sniggers!" - my enemies after I steal all dey nuts.

Personal account of @MATI_Archive

Profile pic by @TiniestYam.

[NOBUNAGA🇯🇵🏯_夏樹蒼依 @japan_nobunaga]

Somewhere in America, a movie theater. The boy at the concession counter asked me a question about architecture, and called it butter.

"You want that layered?"

Layered. I looked at the popcorn. I looked at him.

"Explain."

"Instead of all the butter on top, I do butter, popcorn, butter, popcorn." He mimed the strata with a flat hand. He had explained this before. He would explain it again. A craftsman, patient with the public.

I was not prepared. In my land, what is given is given; you do not direct the distribution of a blessing. Here, the boy stood ready to construct my popcorn in courses, like a stone wall — foundation, mortar, foundation, mortar — so that no kernel, however deep, would live unblessed.

"The ones at the bottom," I said slowly, "are usually…"

"Dry. Yeah. Not on my watch."

NOT ON MY WATCH. The oath of a sentry, sworn over popcorn. This is who they have guarding the snacks.

"Then layer it," I commanded, "as your conscience demands."

He built it like a man who would be judged by it. Pour, pump, rotate. Pour, pump, rotate. Four stories. A tower of equal blessings.

The film was fine. I do not remember it. What I remember is the eightieth minute, deep in the bucket, past the depth where popcorn hope usually dies — and finding the kernels there as golden as the first.

The bottom of the bucket. As rich as the top. I confess I held one kernel up in the dark and simply looked at it.

Butter on top blesses the surface. Butter in layers blesses the whole nation.

I tipped the boy on the way out. He had already forgotten me. The best masons forget the wall, and begin the next one.

Layered. Always layered. Some words you only need to learn once.

[Computer ♥ Records @ComputerLove_]

Bob Ross and Peapod the Pocket squirrel (1984)

[Zoya🕊️ @Zoya_ki_batein]

A woman scaring a demon with her vagina. 18th century.

[Snigger Squirrel @SniggerSquirrel]

@PaulyTheFrog More than likely it is just a strange coincidence but it does feel significant, tickles the part of the brain that likes to see meaning in synchronicity. Can absolutely see how people treat LLMs as "real" despite knowing they're just code, especially if the person is vulnerable.

[Rаріѕtніtӏеr420 @HapistRitler]

Presented without comment

[Snigger Squirrel @SniggerSquirrel]

@tiniestyam The spirit was willing but the flesh was weak and flaccid.

[Snigger Squirrel @SniggerSquirrel]

If I got banished to India with no escape I'd find the nearest overburdened powerline and take a nap from it too. I can only assume this is why they all try to take selfies with moving trains.

Although being Indian anywhere would be reason enough to force-reincarnate.

[Kiki 🇺🇸 @kikisknees]

Good news everyone

[Josh @XJosh]

It is urgent that people in the UK to immediately familiarize themselves with Tor and teach others how to use Tor.

We need to start seriously discussing how we're going to talk to a UK that has enacted a Cyber Channel and cut off the free Internet.

https://t.co/sC1vEB5ymb

[Snigger Squirrel @SniggerSquirrel]

Back home after 2 weeks. First was spent abroad, saw the sights, had a few drinks. Second was spent in hospital with pancreatitis. Wouldn't recommend the second one.

[Sal the Agorist @SallyMayweather]

22 yrs ago today, after a long zoning dispute with local officials that ruined his business, welder Marvin Heemeyer had enough & created the Killdozer.

He destroyed the mayor’s house, the judge’s house, town hall, the police station, & the bank - while avoiding hurting civilians or their property.

Happy Killdozer Day to those who celebrate 🎊

[Snigger Squirrel @SniggerSquirrel]

Fuentes is a homosexual Mexican and a federal informant but when he's right he's right

[Nicholas J. Fuentes @NickJFuentes]

There’s something really disgusting about having to watch a fat person eat, especially when they are really enjoying it.

[Snigger Squirrel @SniggerSquirrel]

@MoshiMoshiMoan Nigga it's called the kill stream, what do you want from him? To keep it running while he passes out? Cos he'll do that if you got the xannies

[Adverse Action with Aly 🏴‍☠️💰📰 @popculture72632]

@vxunderground Spending time on the spiritual healing side of the internet also gets you gems like this

[Battle Beagle @HarmlessYardDog]

Perhaps you should take your superior intellect & unlock clean drinking water & basic hygiene on the tech tree? Maybe you’ll finally defeat your APEX predator (trains) in the next 10 years?

Show American Burger Eaters how it’s done and put up some wins.

[calvin westra @filet_o_calvin]

this reminds me of my favorite dfw quote

[PPP @PoweroftheTruth]

Well Quartering has now succeeded in flagging down the Kino Cathedral channel for "cyber bullying" he is truly the biggest loser Flaggot of all time. I'm not sure why he keeps escalating and expects people to stop felting him. Oh well... fuck Youtube and Fuck Jer!

[Bill Ari @ImBillRay]

lowering my nipples to half mast

[Snigger Squirrel @SniggerSquirrel]

I'm just glad the show is done. Should have ended in season 3, instead they padded it out. Spent the final season with pointless, nonsensical plot that didn't matter and dick-fuck-shit "jokes" - all to set up spin offs nobody will watch now.

It's what Clara would have wanted.

[CJ @deepsgills]

to set this up for 5 seasons only to never have him ACTUALLY do this is so disappointing