Stacey Eastoe

Failed country singer, aspiring comedian. Fortunately, I'm incredibly talented at drawing stick figure animals.

[Stacey Eastoe @StaceyEastoe]

Oh shit. Just remembered I haven't fed my tamagotchi since 1996. Hope he's okay.

[Stacey Eastoe @StaceyEastoe]

Does anyone else say 'you're welcome' when the self checkout thanks you for shopping at Coles?

[Martin Pilgrim @MartinPilgrim1]

I don’t believe that an artist should have to choose between success and integrity. It’s completely possible to have neither.

[Martin Pilgrim @MartinPilgrim1]

I’ve never owned a calendar. I just look at the use by dates of things in my fridge and then work out today’s date based on how they taste.

[Stacey Eastoe @StaceyEastoe]

@BillionDLex Years of trying hide how disorganized I am. Some flaws you've just gotta accept and embrace. And if you can do it with glitter it's an added bonus.

[Stacey Eastoe @StaceyEastoe]

Thinking of starting a greeting card business. But with real messages. Like, 'Happy Birthday. Your present is coming. I'm poor and just suck'. And then a glitter bomb falls out.

[Stacey Eastoe @StaceyEastoe]

@EogaCanada Do you have instruction videos by teachers who fall over a lot? I feel like that would be more relatable for people like me getting started 😂

[Stacey Eastoe @StaceyEastoe]

If yoga is 90% sitting on a mat swearing at YouTube then I think just nailed my first video.

[Stacey Eastoe @StaceyEastoe]

Can the real #melbourneweather please stand up?

[Cassandra Ether @Cassie_Ether]

This has good advice on what to do in an earthquake and if there after aftershocks. Stay safe Victoria ❤ https://t.co/e580A157Eh

[Stacey Eastoe @StaceyEastoe]

Are the submarines going to be where we live then the world ends? I'm so confused. #Scottythefukwit

[Stacey Eastoe @StaceyEastoe]

In Melbourne single people will be idenfied by anyone who now knows it's perfectly normal to hold and carry on a conversation with one's self.

[Stacey Eastoe @StaceyEastoe]

What's that thing, when life gives you lemons... Because I feel like rubbing them in my eyes and screaming isn't it.

[Just Bill @WilliamAder]

Text "It is done" to random numbers.

[Her Tall Boots @fuzzlime]

oh yeah that shit is [spends 10 minutes looking for the fire emoji]

[Her Tall Boots @fuzzlime]

so a pun, a play on words & a priest walk into a bar

no joke.

-an accountant

[Matt Okine @mattokine]

I find old cables in my house that I know I should throw out but then I'm like 'nah I better keep that just incase someone comes round with a nokia n95 and needs to connect it to a fax machine'.

[Mike Goldstein @MikeGStein]

Did it hurt? When you enthusiastically recommended a podcast and put it on during the road trip for everyone to enjoy and they slowly lost interest and started talking to each other?

[Mike Goldstein @MikeGStein]

Easily the most passive aggressive email is the one companies send to tell you you’ve successfully unsubscribed from their mailing list

[Andrew Nadeau @TheAndrewNadeau]

Hate that ancient Greeks just ruined gifting giant wooden horses for everyone.