QUEEN OF STAINS

It’s better to shit in the sink than sink in the shit. Jokes. Stories. A lot of stains.

[QUEEN OF STAINS @StainsQueen]

Nikki Blonsky making a cameo is my sleep paralysis demon

[QUEEN OF STAINS @StainsQueen]

I need someone to sometimes tell me I look like shit

[QUEEN OF STAINS @StainsQueen]

I’m watching all 20 of Luigi’s videos (for research purposes)

[QUEEN OF STAINS @StainsQueen]

Can’t sleep, keep thinking about every thought I’ve ever had

[QUEEN OF STAINS @StainsQueen]

Can our next president be single? I want the First Lady to be a dog named Biscuit.

[QUEEN OF STAINS @StainsQueen]

Does anyone know how to remove an ankle monitor? Asking for a friend

[QUEEN OF STAINS @StainsQueen]

5 days after TikTok closes it’s gonna turn into a Spirit Halloween

[QUEEN OF STAINS @StainsQueen]

He literally ate my left foot how dare he deny this

[Pop Base @PopBase]

Armie Hammer speaks on his cannibalism allegations:

“People called me a cannibal, and everyone believed them. They’re like, ‘Yep, that guy ate people.’ Like what? What are you talking about? Do you know what you have to do to be a cannibal? You have to eat people! How am I going to be a cannibal?! It was bizarre.”

[QUEEN OF STAINS @StainsQueen]

I miss my friends on here… how y’all doin?

[QUEEN OF STAINS @StainsQueen]

Forgot about this account… Hiiiii

[QUEEN OF STAINS @StainsQueen]

You think you the shit? You ain’t even the diarrhea

[QUEEN OF STAINS @StainsQueen]

New year, same diarrhea

[QUEEN OF STAINS @StainsQueen]

@gunsnrosesgirl3 @eyexeyexeyes TikTok dances

[QUEEN OF STAINS @StainsQueen]

“Popping your cherry” should only refer to hemorrhoids

[QUEEN OF STAINS @StainsQueen]

Can’t stop, won’t stop farting in elevators

[QUEEN OF STAINS @StainsQueen]

The farts are fartin

[QUEEN OF STAINS @StainsQueen]

Waiting for Lizzo’s flute apology video

[Nick Jack Pappas @pappiness]

Hi, all. I write jokes for TV, but not long ago I was a financial analyst. I had my Series 7.

For those who say Fran Drescher or any SAG-AFTRA member should stop whining and appreciate what they have, let me give you a lesson in capitalism. 🧵

[QUEEN OF STAINS @StainsQueen]

@Jest_Iris Same...

[QUEEN OF STAINS @StainsQueen]

I’m so excited about gardening that I just wet my plants