Events in life mean nothing if you do not reflect on them in a deep way, and ideas from books are pointless if they have no application to life as you live it.
How do you comprehend anything important? By doing the work. By going to the source. By returning over and over again, bringing new experiences, new questions, new contexts. Refusing to settle for first impressions, remaining unsatisfied, ever curious.
Like everyone, you think you are rational, but you are not. Rationality is not a power you are born with but one you acquire through training and practice.
Casanova was perhaps the most successful seducer in history; few women could resist him.
His method was simple: on meeting a woman, he would study her, go along with her moods, find out what was missing in her life, and provide it.
He made himself the Ideal Lover.