Steph

[Steph @StephEleeson]

@TheFungi669 Yes.

[Jamie Bonkiewicz @JamieBonkiewicz]

BREAKING: The Freedom 250 concert is now going to be held at Four Seasons Total Landscaping

[Steph @StephEleeson]

@dave43law @TheRickWilson

[Jennifer Mascia @JenniferMascia]

Jon Stewart predicting our current media landscape back in 2001:

"We're all gonna get fired by the same guy one day and it's gonna be like a freaky genetic cross-breed between Dolly the Sheep and one of Murdoch's kids and it'll just rule AOLTimeViacomWarner" 👀

[LateNighter @latenightercom]

Colin Jost says he pitched Pete Hegseth mistakenly quoting Pulp Fiction as Bible verse in the SNL writers room—then Hegseth actually did it.

[Harry Sisson @harryjsisson]

Trump had one of his worst mental health episodes yet last night, posting over 55 times in 3 hours. Here is the list:

10:15 PM - Accuses Obama of attempting a coup in 2016
10:15 PM - Says Obama worked with CIA to overthrow Trump
10:15 PM - Reposts tweet saying Obama is a “traitor” and that he should be arrested
10:22 PM - Attacks dominion voting systems for 2020 election saying they switched votes
10:22 PM - Says Fulton County, GA had their 2020 fraud exposed (there was none)
10:23 PM - Accuses Obama of personally making $120 million from Obamacare (wtf?)
10:23 PM - Cites quack lawyer Sidney Powell on the 2020 election
10:24 PM - Posts fake JFK Jr account that says Obama wiretapped Trump Tower
10:27 PM - Demands Senator Mark Kelly resign
10:29 PM - Claims neither Biden nor Harris were in charge of the Biden admin
10:29 PM - Attacks Fulton County, GA again
10:29 PM - Posts Fox News clip of Rep Ro Khanna
10:30 PM - Demands Jack Smith be arrested
10:30 PM - Accuses Obama, Clinton, and Comey of treason
10:39 PM - Reposts a tweet from a MAGA account saying they have secret intel proving Clinton and Obama committed crimes
10:39 PM - Reposts a MAGA tweet saying Hillary Clinton should be sent to Haiti
10:40 PM - Says the DOJ is “working hard” to arrest his enemies for treason
10:40 PM - Reposts a tweet attacking his own DOJ and Todd Blanche for no arrests of political enemies
10:40 PM - Posts a TikTok video of people stealing from a convenience store
10:41 PM - Posts a TikTok of someone taking a Door Dash order
10:41 PM - accuses Obama, John Brennan, and Clinton of sedition and treason again
10:42 PM - Posts a video of a man on CCTV footage knocking over food a waiter was carrying
10:47 PM - Calls Obama the “most DEMONIC FORCE” in American politics
10:47 PM - Posts a tweet from Mike Flynn saying 2020 election wasn’t fair
10:49 PM - Attacks Dominion again claiming they stole the 2020 election (it wasn’t)
10:51 PM - Reposts a fake Charlie Kirk account that claimed Obama blocked Hillary Clinton from being prosecuted
10:53 PM - Claims Obama was part of Hillary Clinton’s emails in some way
11:28 PM - Claims a senior Democrat just testified under oath that Senator Adam Schiff leaked classified information
1:13 AM - Attacks the New York Times for reporting on the reflecting pool

This man is clearly not well.

[💙🌊 Zero Dark Twenty-Nine 🌊🌊🖋️🧫 @herotimeszero]

Arch - $100 million.
Ballroom - $1 billion.
Illegal tariffs - $264 billion.
Trump's war - $2 billion per day.
Kidnapping Maduro - $4.7 billion.
Renaming airport to DJT - $5.5 million.
JFK center renaming & overhaul - $256 million.

Helping Americans - big fat orange zero.

[Steph @StephEleeson]

@FordJohnathan5 @HumanityCritic I did not have @FordJohnathan5 having to educate people what the difference is between plot/attempt and assassination on my bingo card. Yet, here we are 🤦‍♀️

[Peter Girnus 🦅 @gothburz]

I have three monitors on my desk. The left one shows the order book. The middle one shows Truth Social. The right one shows the investigation queue.

On April 21st, the left screen moved first.

I am a Senior Surveillance Analyst at a commodities exchange. I have held this position for nineteen years. My job is to monitor trading activity for suspicious patterns and generate compliance reports. I am employee of the quarter. I have a mug.

At 19:54 GMT on April 21st, someone placed 4,260 sell orders on Brent crude futures. They did this during post-settlement. The window after the market closes when daily volume is typically in the dozens. Sometimes single digits. Sometimes I watch the screen and nothing happens for forty minutes and I think about whether my daughter is happy.

On April 21st, someone placed $430 million in directional bets in 120 seconds during that window. One hundred and twenty seconds. I timed it on my watch because the system clock rounds to the nearest minute and I have found, in nineteen years, that precision matters to no one but me.

At 20:10 GMT, the President posted on Truth Social that he was extending the Iran ceasefire.

Brent dropped from $100.91 to $96.83.

I flagged the trade. I flag a lot of trades. I want to tell you what happens to my flags.

My flags go into a system called TRACE. Trade Review and Compliance Evaluation. I did not name it. The system generates a report. The report goes to a committee. The committee has a name I am not allowed to share but I can tell you it meets quarterly and the conference room has a credenza with bottled water that is sparkling because someone once put still water in the room and a managing director sent an email about it that was longer than most of my surveillance reports.

The committee reviews my flags. The committee has reviewed all of my flags. Here is the complete record of actions taken on my flags in 2026:

Reviewed.

That's it. "Reviewed" is a status. In compliance, a status is the absence of an action that has been given a name so it looks like one.

Let me show you my flags.

March 9th. Someone bet millions on oil falling at 18:29 GMT. Forty-seven minutes later, a CBS reporter posted that the President said the Iran war was "very complete, pretty much." Oil dropped 25%. Forty-seven minutes. I flagged it.

March 23rd. Someone sold 5,100 lots of Brent and WTI crude futures between 10:49 and 10:50 GMT. Fourteen minutes later, the President posted on Truth Social about a "COMPLETE AND TOTAL RESOLUTION" to hostilities. Oil dropped 11%. Over 13,000 contracts traded in sixty seconds after the post. Fourteen minutes. I flagged it.

April 7th. Someone established a $950 million short position in oil futures at 19:45 GMT. Three hours later, the President declared a two-week ceasefire. Nine hundred and fifty million dollars. I flagged it.

April 17th. Someone placed $760 million in bearish bets twenty minutes before Iran's foreign minister confirmed the Strait of Hormuz would reopen. Seven hundred and sixty million. I flagged it.

April 21st. The $430 million. Fifteen minutes. I flagged it.

That is $2.1 billion in directional oil bets in April alone. Every one of them landed on the correct side of a presidential announcement. Every one of them was placed in a window so narrow you could measure it in bathroom breaks. I flagged every single one.

The CFTC chair told a Congressional committee that his organization has "zero tolerance" for fraud and insider trading. I wrote that quote on a Post-it note and stuck it to my right monitor. The one that shows the investigation queue. The investigation queue has not moved since March.

Zero tolerance. Zero staff. Zero budget. Zero prosecutions under the STOCK Act since it was signed in 2012.

Fourteen years. The law has existed for fourteen years and has been enforced zero times. In compliance, we call that a compliance rate of one hundred percent. No cases filed means no cases lost. You cannot fail an audit you never conduct. We call that excellence.

Last month the White House sent an internal email to staff. I was not on the distribution list but I have read reporting on it and I need you to sit with what I am about to say. The email instructed White House staff not to use insider information to place bets on prediction markets.

The White House had to send a memo telling its own employees not to insider-trade.

I want you to read that sentence again. Not because the instruction was unclear. Because the instruction was necessary. Because someone in the building looked at the same pattern I have been flagging for months on my three monitors and decided the appropriate response was an email.

The President's son sits on the advisory board of Kalshi. He is an investor in Polymarket. Both are prediction markets. Both saw accounts created days before U.S. military action.

One account. I cannot stop thinking about this account. It was called "Burdensome-Mix." It was created in December. On January 2nd, it placed $32,500 on Venezuela's president being removed from power. On January 3rd, Maduro was seized by U.S. special forces. Burdensome-Mix collected $436,000. Then it changed its username. Then it disappeared.

One account is a coincidence. But there were six.

Six accounts were created on Polymarket in February. All bet on U.S. strikes on Iran by the 28th. When the President confirmed the strikes, the six accounts collected $1.2 million between them. Five of the six never placed another bet. The sixth went on to correctly predict the ceasefire date and made another $163,000.

My surveillance system logged all of this. My system logs everything. My system does not have opinions and neither do I. I generate reports. The reports go to committees. The committees meet quarterly. Between meetings, the windows get shorter and the bets get larger.

March 9th: 47 minutes. March 23rd: 14 minutes. April 17th: 20 minutes. April 21st: 15 minutes.

The window is compressing. In March, you had time to make coffee between the trade and the announcement. By April, you had time to send a text. By summer, at this rate, the trade and the announcement will be the same event.

The spokesman said any implication that administration officials are engaged in insider trading is "baseless and irresponsible reporting."

Then the White House sent the email again.

I have been in compliance for nineteen years. I have seen insider trading run out of strip mall offices by men who could not spell "derivative." I have seen pump-and-dump schemes coordinated over WhatsApp by people who used their real names. I have seen a man try to manipulate soybean futures from a Panera Bread.

I have never seen $2.1 billion in perfectly timed trades across five presidential announcements in a single month go uninvestigated.

But I have also never seen a compliance system work this beautifully. Every trade flagged. Every report filed. Every committee briefed. Every quarterly meeting attended. Bottled water: sparkling. Minutes: distributed.

Zero prosecutions.

As long as the flags go up and the cases don't, my performance review says I am meeting expectations.

I am meeting expectations. The system is meeting expectations. The $2.1 billion is meeting expectations. The fourteen-year-old law with zero prosecutions is meeting expectations.

The left screen moves. The middle screen moves. The right screen stays perfectly, immaculately still.

In my field, we call this price discovery.

[Jamie Bonkiewicz @JamieBonkiewicz]

The problem with trying to convince Trump supporters that he’s fucking stupid is that they’re fucking stupid too

[Brian Willott Farms @BrianWillott]

They should change the name to "Strait of Schrödinger". It's both open and closed at the same time.

[Cooper @justcuuper]

Trump did not in fact genocide an entire population like he promised. That’s great.

Can we talk about how Congress was just gonna let him

[Ed Blake @Therealedblake]

This is the Alina Habba of ceasefires. We went into court for a parking ticket and left with a DUI

[Deep Singh Badhesha @DeepNotShallow]

If we survive Trump, Dems will run up huge numbers in 2026 & 2028, like 2006 & '08.

But if the next President doesn't govern like FDR, broad reforms, corruption prosecutions, landmark legislation, we end up right back here.

Winning isn't enough. Dems have to change things.

[Don Winslow @donwinslow]

LIVE footage of Democratic leadership fighting Trump.

[Owen Wheelson™ @Quadcarl]

Is this how we’ll know if it happened?

#WhereIsTrump

[JB Thinkin™️ @JBThinkin]

Me just refreshing my FYP like a MF’er in hopes for the best news of a GENERATION!

[Angry Staffer @Angry_Staffer]

I wasn’t really giving any credence to the Trump Walter Reed rumors, but now? Anything is possible 🤣🤣

[Pastor Ben @BenjaminPDixon]

They stopped counting dead American soldiers faster than they stopped counting COVID deaths.