boo-boo-ɾɑҍҍíԵ

On the trail of humour.

Just a small town rabbit, livin' in a sarcastic world.

[boo-boo-ɾɑҍҍíԵ @StrangerTings5]

Teacher: Can you use the word 'hotelier' in a sentence.

Kid: The Marriott is more hotelier than an AirBnB.

Teacher:

[boo-boo-ɾɑҍҍíԵ @StrangerTings5]

My friend has taken to stealing amusing seabirds.

He took a funny tern.

[boo-boo-ɾɑҍҍíԵ @StrangerTings5]

Do discerning gardeners only use top soil?

[Jen @SleepEatScream]

The quicker you realize that most people will disappoint you the better off you’ll be.

[FᎪᎢ ᏩᎪNᎠᎪᏞF @sofarrsogud]

I told my kid that in Sweden a karate instructor is callled a svensei and then my wife called the cops.

[ɢʀɛɛռ ɢօɖ @iGreenGod]

My wife, to our therapist: He always misunderstands simple questions.

Therapist to me: What does she mean?

Me: It’s a feminine pronoun.

[Mr.Carter @dexteristwisted]

I was supposed to conquer the world today
Then day drinking happened

[𝑴𝒐 𝑴𝒐𝒉𝒍𝒆𝒓 @MoMohler]

There were two things that both Dave and Buster loved more than anything in the world….#1 was a great steak in an arcade setting….and #2 was each other.

[Julio, Marc's Imaginary Pet Monkey @MonkeysMarch]

I'd rather live happily ever now, than happily ever after.

[Mr.Carter @dexteristwisted]

I hate when people ask "what did you do yesterday" I'm like IDK. breathed some. Cussed alot.... Probably got mad at something ...etc etc

[Mr.Carter @dexteristwisted]

I'm surrounded by overthinking coffee drinking, sex addicts, potheads , and alcoholics.....Glad I met y'all..

[Julio, Marc's Imaginary Pet Monkey @MonkeysMarch]

Tupperware is great for when you want to throw your food out on a different day . . .

[boo-boo-ɾɑҍҍíԵ @StrangerTings5]

Ouch!

My underachievement just stung me.

[Marcmywords @Marcmywords2]

Soccer Mom in the minivan,
Wine Mom in the mugshot.

[𝑴𝒐 𝑴𝒐𝒉𝒍𝒆𝒓 @MoMohler]

I just bought EBay for $9,000. WTF do I do now? I have no idea how to run this. Please help.

[boo-boo-ɾɑҍҍíԵ @StrangerTings5]

@TrueTorontoGirl When you come in at the bottom?

[Tater 🍁🐾 @TrueTorontoGirl]

A sex guide for dummies called “Entry Level”

[Mr.Carter @dexteristwisted]

My motto: If it makes you smile, snort laugh, or even smirk.....do it again

[ɢʀɛɛռ ɢօɖ @iGreenGod]

Be the lion and the fox: loud when needed, smart always.

[𝑴𝒐 𝑴𝒐𝒉𝒍𝒆𝒓 @MoMohler]

Sign my petition to release sharks into Lake Erie.

[Μαρια Κιτρινη @greek_heanen]

The void? No, those are your opportunities. But if it looks like the void, sounds like the void, smells like.. oh well