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boo-boo-ɾɑҍҍíԵ
@StrangerTings5
On the trail of humour. Just a small town rabbit, livin' in a sarcastic world.
Joined December 2018
1.7K
Following
5.2K
Followers
51.5K
Posts
Pinned Tweet
boo-boo-ɾɑҍҍíԵ
@StrangerTings5
about 2 years ago
Teacher: Can you use the word 'hotelier' in a sentence. Kid: The Marriott is more hotelier than an AirBnB. Teacher:
boo-boo-ɾɑҍҍíԵ
@StrangerTings5
3 days ago
My friend has taken to stealing amusing seabirds. He took a funny tern.
boo-boo-ɾɑҍҍíԵ
@StrangerTings5
6 days ago
Do discerning gardeners only use top soil?
StrangerTings5
retweeted
Jen
@SleepEatScream
8 days ago
The quicker you realize that most people will disappoint you the better off you’ll be.
Who to follow
aussie mike 🇦🇺
@mikeate008
Wakey wakey ....
John H. Beers III 🐀
@Bedlam_Beersie
Weird little guy who got big. Atypical leading man. Two horses in a man costume. CR 5 threat for low-level adventures. Avi by @popartcartoonz
Uptown Schmuck
@SchmuckOnAHorse
Mild-mannered CPA by day, miserable curmudgeon by night. Followed by @mrsdash. https://t.co/FLKTeHseS3 on the other thing that I don't really use.
StrangerTings5
retweeted
FᎪᎢ ᏩᎪNᎠᎪᏞF
@sofarrsogud
9 days ago
I told my kid that in Sweden a karate instructor is callled a svensei and then my wife called the cops.
StrangerTings5
retweeted
ɢʀɛɛռ ɢօɖ
@iGreenGod
9 days ago
My wife, to our therapist: He always misunderstands simple questions. Therapist to me: What does she mean? Me: It’s a feminine pronoun.
StrangerTings5
retweeted
Mr.Carter
@dexteristwisted
8 days ago
I was supposed to conquer the world today Then day drinking happened
StrangerTings5
retweeted
𝑴𝒐 𝑴𝒐𝒉𝒍𝒆𝒓
@MoMohler
9 days ago
There were two things that both Dave and Buster loved more than anything in the world….#1 was a great steak in an arcade setting….and #2 was each other.
StrangerTings5
retweeted
Julio, Marc's Imaginary Pet Monkey
@MonkeysMarch
8 days ago
I'd rather live happily ever now, than happily ever after.
StrangerTings5
retweeted
Mr.Carter
@dexteristwisted
9 days ago
I hate when people ask "what did you do yesterday" I'm like IDK. breathed some. Cussed alot.... Probably got mad at something ...etc etc
StrangerTings5
retweeted
Mr.Carter
@dexteristwisted
8 days ago
I'm surrounded by overthinking coffee drinking, sex addicts, potheads , and alcoholics.....Glad I met y'all..
StrangerTings5
retweeted
Julio, Marc's Imaginary Pet Monkey
@MonkeysMarch
9 days ago
Tupperware is great for when you want to throw your food out on a different day . . .
boo-boo-ɾɑҍҍíԵ
@StrangerTings5
11 days ago
Ouch! My underachievement just stung me.
StrangerTings5
retweeted
Marcmywords
@Marcmywords2
27 days ago
Soccer Mom in the minivan, Wine Mom in the mugshot.
StrangerTings5
retweeted
𝑴𝒐 𝑴𝒐𝒉𝒍𝒆𝒓
@MoMohler
27 days ago
I just bought EBay for $9,000. WTF do I do now? I have no idea how to run this. Please help.
boo-boo-ɾɑҍҍíԵ
@StrangerTings5
27 days ago
@TrueTorontoGirl
When you come in at the bottom?
StrangerTings5
retweeted
Tater 🍁🐾
@TrueTorontoGirl
28 days ago
A sex guide for dummies called “Entry Level”
StrangerTings5
retweeted
Mr.Carter
@dexteristwisted
28 days ago
My motto: If it makes you smile, snort laugh, or even smirk.....do it again
StrangerTings5
retweeted
ɢʀɛɛռ ɢօɖ
@iGreenGod
27 days ago
Be the lion and the fox: loud when needed, smart always.
StrangerTings5
retweeted
𝑴𝒐 𝑴𝒐𝒉𝒍𝒆𝒓
@MoMohler
28 days ago
Sign my petition to release sharks into Lake Erie.
StrangerTings5
retweeted
Μαρια Κιτρινη
@greek_heanen
2 months ago
The void? No, those are your opportunities. But if it looks like the void, sounds like the void, smells like.. oh well
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