Stuart Helmer

If you lived here you'd be home by now

[Stuart Helmer @stuarthelmer]

"Why isn't that cyclist getting out of my way??"

Well here's why. Thread

[Stuart Helmer @stuarthelmer]

@barbedquill @jonoblain Yup, what a shame

[Stuart Helmer @stuarthelmer]

@barbedquill @jonoblain Both absolute stunners. That series was such a feast of amazing cricket

[Stuart Helmer @stuarthelmer]

@mrevgenylebedev @joshi How thin-skinned *are* you?

That's an incredibly embarrassing tweet. Do yourself a favour and delete it

[Stuart Helmer @stuarthelmer]

Most of the responses to this are insane. Literally certifiable

[Jeremy Clarkson @JeremyClarkson]

Brexit enthusiasts: I hope you’re all enjoying the queues at your holiday airports this year.

[Stuart Helmer @stuarthelmer]

@NoelWilmur82 @Nigel_Farage @reformparty_uk You realise, do you, that Farage is the establishment?

[Stuart Helmer @stuarthelmer]

@Nigel_Farage "Old man shouts at bin"

[Stuart Helmer @stuarthelmer]

@ChetMTuell @Raytrapani @allforthanookie That's standard for rugby too.

It's not compulsory for you to act out every stereotype about Americans, you know.

[Stuart Helmer @stuarthelmer]

@HankTankBang @allforthanookie Sorry: do you think rugby is "just hitting"?

NFL players are awesome athletes, no doubt. But there's nothing to choose between them and rugby pros.

[Stuart Helmer @stuarthelmer]

@ianhbeggs He doesn't at all. He sounds measured and sensible.

[Stuart Helmer @stuarthelmer]

@John_EdwardsUK @CountBinface Trust me, it doesn't. The adults are leaving toddler Nigel to have his tantrum, and one of the other kids is winding him up. He looks a fool.

[Stuart Helmer @stuarthelmer]

@TheMrLoophole @TheAA_UK Oh m8 what is that *outfit*, jeez, did you stop midway through a jog to make this vid?

[Stuart Helmer @stuarthelmer]

@mansfieldrv6 @DPJHodges How utterly laughable.

Farage had a hissy fit, and now he's having a full-blown tantrum because, rightly, no-one else will play along.

[Stuart Helmer @stuarthelmer]

@AlexFinch27 @DanNeidle "He's winning the argument by being demonstrably wrong about everything and not understanding basic points"

You're easily pleased

[Stuart Helmer @stuarthelmer]

@anon_opin Nah. Differences are subtle but real, texture especially.

[Stuart Helmer @stuarthelmer]

@JPeter402 @dieworkwear Why not? They're arseholes. Take the piss out of them

[Stuart Helmer @stuarthelmer]

Man of the people update https://t.co/Itpacoledg

[Stuart Helmer @stuarthelmer]

@kittysull1 You're half-right: we shouldn't be back here once again *because it should have been passed the first time*, instead of being talked out (heh @ "concerns") in the Lords.

[Ginge @FiercePussyxx]

Turns out Hannah Spencer's blouse definitely isn't Gucci and didn't cost £2,000

Farage, on the other hand, definitely received 5 million and didn't declare it

[Stuart Helmer @stuarthelmer]

@JuliaHB1 Yes of course that's definitely the point 👍🏼

[Stuart Helmer @stuarthelmer]

@afneil https://t.co/SMUM2zUJR5