(Formerly Tw1tter)

Processed in a facility that also processes nuts. Elon sucks. He/him/they/them

[(Formerly Tw1tter) @T1M07HY]

Fart

[(Formerly Tw1tter) @T1M07HY]

@JohnCleese Please go back to the 1970s when you were funny.

[(Formerly Tw1tter) @T1M07HY]

It doesn’t even look wilted

[Pop Base @PopBase]

The Caesar Salad turns 101 today.

[Bradley @bradjchester]

Aren’t you dead

[(Formerly Tw1tter) @T1M07HY]

Just when you thought “Tucker Carlson” was the douchiest name ever

[Eric Daugherty @EricLDaugh]

🚨 JUST IN: The son of Tucker Carlson, Buckley Carlson, is set to join Vice President J.D. Vance's office as deputy press secretary - ABC / @wsteaks

[(Formerly Tw1tter) @T1M07HY]

@JennyENicholson Also ice. We get a lot more ice than they do.

[courtney 🐝 @merricats]

I think about “they’re not in my life anymore” at least once a week RIP to an incredible mind 😭

[James Stuber 🌱🌿🌳🍂 @uberstuber]

If you’re a guy in your early 20s, buy a tungsten cube

Go into debt if you have to

This is not satire. You can get a cube for 4 grand

Having a dense cube communicates status to women and business relationships

And if you buy it right it will hold its value if not appreciate

[(Formerly Tw1tter) @T1M07HY]

They say we all die twice. First when we take our final breath, and a second time when the air compressor that powers the janky robot in your likeness craps out at a small museum.

[Sean Casten @SeanCasten]

The party of Denny Hastert is the party of Matt Gaetz is the party of Jim Jordan is the party of Pete Hegseth is the party of Donald Trump. https://t.co/JdJ3rxe8kJ

[(Formerly Tw1tter) @T1M07HY]

@realGulDukat Do you hear yourself? “Humanoid Services.” Why, the very name is racist.

[Gul Dukat @realGulDukat]

I have decided to nominate the Parasite Queen as Secretary of Health and Humanoid Services. CONGRATULATIONS PARASITE QUEEN!!

[That’s Ms. Maximoff to you @Chaos_and_0rder]

Oh my god. I hate her for killing Tasha Yar.

[Brian Gaar @briangaar]

"Fuck your feelings" but also please come to thanksgiving, we miss you and our vote had nothing to do with you, honey.

[Justin LaLiberty @jlalibs]

still relevant

[(Formerly Tw1tter) @T1M07HY]

Watching too many channels at once. Specifically, watching @SteveKornacki on @MSNBC and also watching him in the background of @BBCWorld

[(Formerly Tw1tter) @T1M07HY]

Vote Harris just to clown on these fools.

[Cameron Winklevoss @cameron]

The Harris-Biden Administration has cost the crypto industry $500 million in legal fees. Vote Trump and this goes to $0. Vote Harris and this will balloon to $ billions. Choose wisely.

[James Medlock @jdcmedlock]

Incredible

[(Formerly Tw1tter) @T1M07HY]

I believe that dogs in the wild eat poop, rotting animal carcasses and literal garbage. Domestic dogs eating kibble live 3 times longer, so I think we’re good here.

[The Farmer's Dog @thefarmersdog]

We believe no living being should eat ultra-processed food for every meal of their lives. Make the switch.

[(Formerly Tw1tter) @T1M07HY]

PRAY FOR TRUMP: PSALM 109:8