Taylor Bray

I'm accidently purposely awkward.

[Ashwini Shrivastava @AshwiniSahaya]

Breaking News: Taliban issued a new ruling in Balkh province, Afghanistan, stating that women are not allowed to visit male doctors !!

And, no education to women as well, so no female doctors either !!
#Afghanistan #Taliban
https://t.co/0KHb8W7nWW

[Taylor Bray @TaytorBray]

Husband: (respectfully) you slut.
Me: Only for you. And Andrew Garfield, if he wanted to.
#Respectfully

[Taylor Bray @TaytorBray]

@opal_auras Hey, we had French onion soup yesterday! Onions give kyle bad gas, so I’m sure you know how my night was.

[Taylor Bray @TaytorBray]

@opal_auras Good choices.

[Sylis @Cikaaro]

*Sitting on Main Street*

*Couple walks past*

“Have you ever eaten here?” - Gal

“Yeah, I took your mom there once!” - Guy

“Can you please stop bringing up that you dated my mom.” - Gal

*Me trying to enjoy coffee at Picasso’s*

[Taylor Bray @TaytorBray]

@Cikaaro

[Taylor Bray @TaytorBray]

@opal_auras I want a raptor taking a shower on my shower curtain.

[Taylor Bray @TaytorBray]

@opal_auras I’m in.

[Taylor Bray @TaytorBray]

@ashtinmcfadden OKAY! 💖💜💚 😷

[Taylor Bray @TaytorBray]

“Working with you is like working retail all over again!” - my husband to my son

[Taylor Bray @TaytorBray]

Me: Don’t say anything stupid.
My husband: I’ll try but I’m feeling a little kooky, the McRib is in retrograde.

[Kyle 🌱 @KylePlantEmoji]

Our father, who art in heaven, baja be thy blast

[Taylor Bray @TaytorBray]

“We don’t litter, and we DON’T say the F-word!” - a wise toddler

[Taylor Bray @TaytorBray]

The new millennium is officially old enough to drink.
#wellearned #ineedadrink #HappyNewYear2021

[Taylor Bray @TaytorBray]

Me: Can you say ‘thank you’?
Ellie: Yeah!
Me: *waiting* ...Are you gonna say it?
Ellie: *smiles brightly* No.

[Taylor Bray @TaytorBray]

Just explained what PEGGING is to my Pawpaw. How’s your family Christmas going?

[Israel2099 @israel2099_]

Spider-verse fan-art. Made with Blender, compositing with After Effects and Photoshop.

Follow me on instagram: https://t.co/KZVXhgBV7e

#SpiderVerse #TobeyMaguire #TomHolland #AndrewGarfield #Spidermanfarfromhome #Marvel #SpiderMan

[Taylor Bray @TaytorBray]

@opal_auras Damn. Called out. I get that.

[Taylor Bray @TaytorBray]

Husband: I haven’t taken the trash out or done anything outside this week because I can’t find my shoes or matching socks.
Me: *me finds him his shoes and matching socks*
Husband: *makes another excuse as to why he can’t take out the trash*

[Taylor Bray @TaytorBray]

My husband: Now, you better want this. I didn’t just witness a WWE match between you and your sister, and drag your limp body across the house for you not to want this.