The fact I can see my family when I want and my friends when I want, is enough blessing that living abroad couldn't meet up to.
There is always that vacuum that living abroad and having money can't can't fill. You see your white neighbours and colleagues having family time and you are staring into emptiness. Even the friends you have, you need to book appointment for a date convenient to both of you to see. You easily understand better that relationship is the most important thing in human existence.
Many people want to come back home but there is nothing to come back to, so they live with the void in another man's land. There is no place like HOME.
You think I'm happy living abroad?
I have a family I grew up with, whom I love with all of my heart - and the reality keeps dawning on me, on how many times I will see them before I one day turn 60.
People I saw daily, or once a month - I haven't seen in years, and would realistically only see once a year, going forward.
You think I'm happy?
That one day, I might end up having children and my siblings might not have the relationship with them - the relationship I had with my uncles, in my formative years? I remember clearly how they would take us to MrBiggs every Sunday - I am currently reliving the flavour from that meatpie.
How we would go to the family house in Ikeja, every year for Eid. The grandchildren uniforms, the snacks while watching your uncles slaughter rams.
You think I'm happy that I might one day lead a family of children who might not know their version of that?
WTF will I be doing in another man's land, if I did everything they asked me to do from childhood (face your studies, be exceptional, stay away from crime, be hardworking) and opportunities lined up for me to be the best I could, in my motherland? WTF will I be doing here?
Why will I condescend myself to living in a clime where I have to mentally switch from sun burning weather to teeth clenching winter - when I came from a land where I never needed gloves? You think I'm happy?
If I could do honest work, be on my way home and not have to bother about the risk of getting shot by the people meant to protect me, because I have some lines of tattoos on my body - you think I would leave?
If I could trust a justice system to defend me, ensure my rights even though I am a nobody - have trustworthy institutions banking on the highest standards, not have to worry about the bread I eat, the fake drinks from the club or streets, the fake drugs - you think I would leave?
Don't get me wrong. I am grateful for the opportunities this clime has given me, to test my limits - to be everything I thought I could be. But all of these, in replacement for the soul I grew up with?
You know the satisfaction that settled within me when I could wake up on a Saturday morning, stroll to the Iya wanke's place - relish an entire plate, or some ewa agonyin while watching children battle it out, in a 5 v 5 across the streets.
That communal living that relished my soul, is now replaced with silent streets and finely divided sealed terraces.
You walk through the city centres in the evenings - you see friends having an aperitif (they do so every evening), you see grandfathers meeting up with their children, you see entire families with extended families living across the streets, first cousins are even able to use the same gym and you remember what that looked like for you back home?
You think of all your friends scattered across continents, some you might never get to hug again.
For a lot of diasporans, you don't want Nigeria to work more than us. A lot of us want to come home, but what is home? Where is home? When will home feel like home?
I hope to continue living life without lack, in comfort, with accomplished dreams - but I want to do so, with soul. When I die one day, I want to do so - with soul.
I have tweeted this a few times, and I will tweet it again.
Firstly, we cannot say they didn’t build or buy a house for their fathers just because it wasn’t posted online. Secondly, if they didn’t, there must be a story behind it. Lastly, and most importantly, we men underestimate the importance of bonding, showing up, and emotionally supporting our kids. We act like these things aren’t as important as providing. Many men don’t even try at all. no bond, no emotional support, and just providing.
Do you know why many men are quick to disown their kids? It’s because there is no bond. We see it online all the time: a video of kids making mistakes, and men commenting, “If any of my kids try this, I will disown them.” That easy? The first thing that comes to your mind is to disown them? I changed so many diapers, soothed their sickness, and endured every tantrum, and you just want me to disown my kids? Many men see kids as people they only need to provide for.
If all you do is provide, while the mother does the showing up, emotional support, and bonding, then when the kids grow up and it’s time to give back, they will do the same. Not because they are bad kids, but because that’s what they learned. They will celebrate their mother more. They will talk to her more. Meanwhile, you as the father who only provided, will only receive financial gestures and gifts. You will be taken care of. They will like post their mom and rarely post you. Ask people who openly celebrate their dads if all he did was provide.
But if you never celebrated them when they were young, why should they celebrate you? You can’t expect them to miraculously create a bond you never built. If you’re lucky, your kids may unlearn that pattern and try to build a relationship with you, but it will be difficult, because they were raised with, “As a father, it’s my way or the highway.”
I work 12 to 16 hours sometimes, and my daughter has a game right after that. I get tired, really tired, but I still show up. And many times, when I get there, the smile that lights up her face when she spots me in the crowd is priceless. I love seeing that.
Do you think I always have the strength to go to parks, birthday parties, pools, and watch her play sports? Sometimes I want to rest, but I still try. And whenever I can’t make it, I communicate that with her. I don’t just fail to show up. I explain and give her reasons. So, my brothers, providing for your family and being emotionally present aren’t mutually exclusive. Try. Otherwise, when you are down, your kids won’t be beside you on your deathbed, but they will make sure you d*e comfortably.
Over the next few days, I’ll be sharing an Easter series on The Atonement.
A visual reflection of what Jesus truly did on our behalf.
Not just the cross…
But the weight behind it.
The surrender.
The suffering.
The love.
Scripture says:
“There is no greater love than this, that a man lay down his life for his friends.” - John 15:13
And yet, this was more than a man.
God Himself stepped into creation…
And allowed Himself to be rejected, beaten, and crucified by the very people He came to save.
“He was pierced for our transgressions,
He was crushed for our iniquities…”
- Isaiah 53:5
This is the atonement.
He took our place…
So we could have a place with Him.
Today’s piece reflects that moment of surrender.
More coming.
7 Fascinating Facts About The Vagina That Are Completely Normal
1. Your vagina literally blushes when you’re aroused. More blood flow = deeper colour.
2. Women can be very turned on without getting wet. So always engage in proper foreplay and keep lubricants handy.
3. Women also experience “blue balls.” When aroused without orgasm, blood flow lingers and causes slight swelling or discomfort.
4. A healthy vagina is as acidic as wine. That acidity keeps bad bacteria and yeast in check.
5. The clitoris’ only job is pleasure. It’s densely packed with nerves and is even more sensitive than the penis. Ignoring it during sex is unforgivable.
6. Some virgins don’t have a hymen, while some sexually active women may still have one. The hymen isn’t proof of virginity.
7. Not every orgasm rocks your whole body. Some are short and sweet; enjoy them all.
Open Letter to Don Jazzy
10,000 Laptops to Empower 10,000 Nigerian Youths
Dear Don Jazzy @DONJAZZY
My name is Ayilola Ayotomiwa, popularly known as Ayilola of Nigeria. I’m reaching out to share a dream that was born right here among young, hopeful Nigerians ,The Tech Access Project ,an initiative dedicated to empowering 10,000 youths with 10,000 laptops.
Our vision is simple but deeply powerful: to give young Nigerians, especially those passionate about tech, design, music production, and digital entrepreneurship, the tools they need to build their future.
You’ve always been one of the biggest
believers in young people ,from mentoring creatives and supporting startups to constantly showing love to your fans. You’ve used your platform not just to entertain, but to inspire, educate, and empower. That spirit of giving back is what inspired this project.
In today’s digital world, a laptop isn’t just a gadget ,it’s a lifeline. It’s the difference between an idea staying a dream or becoming a reality. Thousands of talented youths have vision, skill, and drive, but lack the basic tool to bring their ideas to life. We want to change that.
We’re reaching out to partners and supporters like you to help make laptops accessible ,through sponsorships, subsidized partnerships, or simply amplifying the message. With your influence and guidance, we can open doors for thousands of Nigerian youths to learn, create, and earn from their talents.
We would be deeply honoured to have your support, mentorship, or collaboration on this journey of digital empowerment.
Thank you for always being a light to young
Nigerians.
Minds Behind the Initiative:
Ayilola Ayotomiwa — @silverpenydr
Folowosele Adeboye —@boye4christ2006
Bolade Adenike Esan — @mobola_ade
Oriyomi Soyoye — @horiyourme
With respect and admiration, Ayilola Ayotomiwa
8 Strange Signs You’re Healthier Than You Think
(1) YOU FEEL YOUR HEARTBEAT WHEN LYING ON YOUR SIDE: Usually normal, especially in lean or fit people.
(2) YOU GET A BURST OF SALIVA BEFORE YOU VOMIT: Your body's protecting your teeth from stomach acid.
(3) YOU DON'T GET THIRSTY IMMEDIATELY AFTER SWEATING: Suggests that your fluid balance is fine.
(4) YOU GET A TINY COUGH WHEN YOU EAT TOO FAST: That's a reflex stopping you from choking.
(5) YOU SOMETIMES WAKE UP WITH DRY MOUTH: Could be from mouth-breathing, sleep posture, or a dry room
(6) YOU FEEL SLEEPY AFTER A HEAVY MEAL: Blood flows to your gut, not your brain. Normal
(7) YOU CAN'T POOP IN NEW PLACES: Your brain's on alert in unfamiliar environments.
(8) YOUR VOICE SOUNDS DEEPER IN THE MORNING: Your vocal cords are relaxed & slightly dry. Totally normal
Parents in Nigeria: you see this 400g of Milo your kids drink every morning?
It has more sugar than SIX cans of Coke.
Yet, Nestlé sells healthier, low-sugar versions abroad.
I studied this & here’s what i found.
Walk with me
Solomon please I beg you,
Don’t do this to your child.
I’m writing this publicly as an appeal to you and other young parents out there. Pls read this to the end and kindly indulge me.
First of all, let us make something clear:
There is NO verifiable medical link between childhood vaccines and autism. Absolutely NONE. What you are quoting are largely incomplete stories and rumours that have no scientific evidence.
So, let’s do a little deep dive:
Where did the idea that vaccines cause autism start from? Much of this came from 1 particular study published in 1998 that suggested MMR (measles-mumps-rubella) vaccine might cause autism.
Since 1998 till now, many multiple scientific studies have shown there is ZERO link between vaccines (or any of their ingredients) and autism. Vaccines do NOT cause autism in anybody. This is the actual medical fact.
Also, it may interest you to know that the research used in that 1998 study was found to be false and misleading. The doctor who led the misleading research lost his medical license, and the medical journal (Lancet) that published it retracted and removed the research paper stating that they believe it never should have been published in the first place. Lancet is one of the world’s oldest and most respected medical journals in the whole world.
When you are less busy, google the name “Andrew Jeremy Wakefield”- he is a well known, disgraced British fraudster who was kicked off the medical profession for his misleading false research linking autism to vaccines.
Vaccine-preventable diseases are very serious and if a child is not vaccinated, that child can develop the disease and could die. If a child develops measles or rubella, and that child is unvaccinated, the child can die.
Before global vaccination programs, measles was killing about 2.6million kids every year https://t.co/TnQTogCPNk
But with vaccines, barely 100,000 kids die every year- mostly in poor countries.
To put this in perspective,
1 in 5,000 kids can die from measles in uk while in poor countries 1 in 100 kids die from measles, this is the massive difference that vaccination makes for a child.
Two doses of MMR vaccine are 97% effective at preventing measles, 1 dose is 93% effective. It is uncommon for someone fully vaccinated to develop measles. These are the medical facts. https://t.co/qKBeAUXVXH
Sorry it’s a long read.
But I have taken the pain to write this because in my medical practice as a family physician, I have seen parents make this dangerous decision to withhold vaccines from their child and that child developed measles and end up in a serious medical emergency including death.
I hope this has helped.
Please 🙏🏿 for the audience, if you read this and run into this post by chance, please help retweet to save the life of a little child and help educate the parent.
Thank you!