King of the Morons

I make jokes. Some of them are really, really clever, but those are overshadowed by all the ones about my taint.

[King of the Morons @Tha_Batt]

I tried to grill my sandwich, but it just flat out refuses to answer any of my questions.

[Digital Daisy🌸 @DigitalDaisyX]

A @Bethesda producer posted this Indiana Jones clip on the official account after gamers pushed back.

After the outrage, they rushed to delete it—
but the mask is off. 🚫 Done with Bethesda.

And Microsoft tried to gaslight us with "a small subset of employees." We knew that was BS.

[King of the Morons @Tha_Batt]

I got banned from Whisper, so I guess I'm back here.

[King of the Morons @Tha_Batt]

I used to get grossed out by tampon ads, but then I realized that I shit myself way more than once a month, and now I understand.

[King of the Morons @Tha_Batt]

@CWhydro I can't get the map on your website working. Is there any available information about this current outage?

[King of the Morons @Tha_Batt]

You can hate @realDonaldTrump all you want, but you can't deny the fact that he's the ONLY reason that people like @iamsambee even has a fucking job right now.

Eat it, bitch.

[King of the Morons @Tha_Batt]

I know how to block people on twitter, but is there a way to block @iamsambee from my TV? If I even hear her that fucking idiot say her own name again, I may have to put my foot through the screen.

[King of the Morons @Tha_Batt]

Try TextNow - I got a free phone number with unlimited texting and calling to USA & Canada! Download it from https://t.co/pLt2bg3HeS

[King of the Morons @Tha_Batt]

@DavidBoldt2 @AlbertaYoda To be fair, most people who send random memes to pretty much anyone, will be blocked by said recipient.

[King of the Morons @Tha_Batt]

Being stationed as a border guard in Antarctica right now, is great!

(The globe is flat. The ice wall is real. Don't trust anybody!)

#InsideXbox

[King of the Morons @Tha_Batt]

Are you stuck in your house?

I would tell you to cut out the wall, but you'd probably still get stuck, fatty!

[King of the Morons @Tha_Batt]

@tigersgoroooar Don't break the law, and this won't happen.

[King of the Morons @Tha_Batt]

Just taking some photos of John Tavares and his buddies from my awesome seats here at #TORvsNYI

[King of the Morons @Tha_Batt]

@SethMacFarlane Do you know who Sheldon Allman is?

[King of the Morons @Tha_Batt]

@SethMacFarlane I have a simple question: Do you know who Sheldon Allman is?

[Whisper the Hero Dog @WhisperHero]

What hamster?

[Whisper the Hero Dog @WhisperHero]

I had a bad dream. Can I sleep in your bed? Great! Hey, I didn't say you could stay here with me. To the floor with you!

[Whisper the Hero Dog @WhisperHero]

Hey, let's go outside! ...Aw, it's raining. Can we go back in? ...This is boring. Can we go out?...Aw, it's raining. Can we go back in? ...

[Whisper the Hero Dog @WhisperHero]

You'd better come up with a damn good reason as to why you're leaving the house! No no! I don't even know what "work" means! Try again, pal!

[Whisper the Hero Dog @WhisperHero]

I know you told me to stay out of the garbage. I just really wanted that wad paper towels at the bottom.

[Whisper the Hero Dog @WhisperHero]

Hey, what is this? It's soft, and fluffy. I think it's a toy, but it looks like a dog. I'm just gonna bark at it for a while, then eat it.