I have to see a friend today that I haven’t seen in years and later wear a bathing suit in front of my parents who don’t know about my massive thigh tattoo so yes I am panic pooping
wife: didn’t i tell you?
me: yes, you did
wife: you didn't listen
me: no, I did not
wife: what did i say?
me: you heard turtles in the walls
wife: what did you say?
me: i said you were crazy
wife: what will you do now?
me: i’ll call the turtle guy
wife: you’ll call the turtle guy