Jenna S.

Worlds okayest Midwest mom who needed an outlet for her jokes

[Jenna S. @Thatmidwestmom]

Check on your friends who are potty training their toddlers right now. ⁣
⁣
It’s me. I’m friends.

[Jenna S. @Thatmidwestmom]

I think the grinch was just overstimulated and I get that.

[Jenna S. @Thatmidwestmom]

5: mommy sometimes I don’t remember something and then I just say I don’t remember because I don’t remember.

[Jenna S. @Thatmidwestmom]

✨holding space✨for my bank account during this time of the year.

[Jenna S. @Thatmidwestmom]

The parade was nice but do you know what would have made it better?

Snoop Dogg.

[Jenna S. @Thatmidwestmom]

Absolutely no one:

My 5 year old: are you LITERALLY serious? Did you LITERALLY just see that? Can I LITERALLY buy this? Literally literally LITERALLY.

[Jenna S. @Thatmidwestmom]

@chappellroan has single handedly taught my kid her alphabet this year and I don’t think she is getting enough credit. Most specifically with the letters H,O,T,T,O,G,O!

[Jenna S. @Thatmidwestmom]

@DIRECTV wives everywhere are suffering this is not a good look.

[Jenna S. @Thatmidwestmom]

I would like to formally announce that I will no longer be judging what anyone feeds their child as I caught mine eating the cats food.

[Jenna S. @Thatmidwestmom]

“I’m overworked, I need a break”

Microsoft: bet

[Jenna S. @Thatmidwestmom]

Husband at all hours of the day: *💨fart💨FART fart GASSSSSSS💨FART💨fart💨💨SHART fart*

Me: *little toot*

Husband: that’s disgusting!

[Jenna S. @Thatmidwestmom]

*having a family bonfire*

4: let’s do mushrooms

Me: they’re called marshmallows

[Jenna S. @Thatmidwestmom]

Say what you want about 90’s music but Mombo No. 5 still does it for me 25 years later.

[Jenna S. @Thatmidwestmom]

Women take so long to go to the bathroom at weddings because it takes 7-10 business days to get off Spanx.

[Jenna S. @Thatmidwestmom]

“Mom your hair looks really goofy”

Being a parent is humbling.

[Jenna S. @Thatmidwestmom]

“PLOP” - my kid shouting in the middle of a public bathroom as she poops.

[Jenna S. @Thatmidwestmom]

@StoriesformyFu1 Not even a little

[Jenna S. @Thatmidwestmom]

“Mommy you know what I don’t like?… loud things.”

- my kid at 4:30AM this morning.

[Jenna S. @Thatmidwestmom]

@twinstantfamily Bingo!

[Jenna S. @Thatmidwestmom]

Today I was on a website and got this error:

“429 Too Many Requests”

I have never related to a computer more in my life.

[Jenna S. @Thatmidwestmom]

@Ticketmaster , when does the presale start for the trolls band together world tour movie? If this is what we’re getting, I’m all in.