Women today on a first date in her 30s: "I hope our horoscopes align, and my energy crystals say he is husband material"
Men today on a first date in his 30s: "I hope she doesn't have a dick"
Driver Jason Arrington gets pulled over for running a red light, tells the officers right away he's legally carrying a concealed Glock .45, and stays totally calm and compliant the whole time.
Female officer Mindy Cardwell tries to take the gun out of his holster for 'officer safety,' struggles with it, puts her finger on the trigger, and ends up shooting him in the leg.
The department fired her for the mistake and changed their policy,no more taking guns from people who are legally carrying unless there's an actual threat.
🚨⚡️In Russia, raising an owl is a common tradition, as it is seen as a friendly pet that enjoys closeness and cuddles with its owner and is known for its strong loyalty. In Russian culture, the owl is also considered a symbol of wisdom, intelligence, and knowledge!
Oops...the first thing I try to do on X and I screw it up! I accidentally deleted my last post about taking over the account:
6.5 years ago my wife created this X account to give me my voice back. All this time, she relayed my messages to you word for word. Starting now, MY fingertips are on the keyboard!
Here we are, one week after my release, our prayers finally answered.