Fake Sports GM🍥®️

I now Twit, about stuff. You can't read them though, because I once disagreed with this site's political preferences.
I mute all promoted tweets.

[Fake Sports GM🍥®️ @TheJasonG5]

The hunger of the substation cannot be satiated.

[David Lombardi @LombardiHimself]

No practice today for Kyle Juszczyk, who broke his finger

[Fake Sports GM🍥®️ @TheJasonG5]

The substation has spoken, and it demands a sacrifice.

[Underdog NFL @UnderdogNFL]

49ers injuries through 5 practices

Mike Evans (quad)
De'Zhaun Stribling (hamstring)
Ricky Pearsall (knee)
Christian Kirk (calf)
Jordan James (rib)
Kaelon Black (adductor)
Mikail Kamara (knee)
Keion White (adductor)
Malik Mustapha (hamstring)

[Fake Sports GM🍥®️ @TheJasonG5]

The electrical substation demands sacrifice.

[Adam Schefter @AdamSchefter]

49ers WR Mike Evans is not practicing today due to a quad strain.

[Fake Sports GM🍥®️ @TheJasonG5]

Purely for the sake of about 25 rookie cards, DerMarr Johnson

[HAWK @HawkEmDownChris]

Which athlete would you choose?

[Fake Sports GM🍥®️ @TheJasonG5]

@CardChronicle I'm pretty certain this was the only play my HS ran.

[Fake Sports GM🍥®️ @TheJasonG5]

So does this mean more or less touches for McCaffrey?

[Adam Schefter @AdamSchefter]

San Francisco 49ers coach Kyle Shanahan suffered significant injuries in a car accident during his summer break in mid July that now will leave him limited as the team opens training camp.

Shanahan broke his nose, three ribs, his hand, needed over 40 stiches in his face and suffered a severe concussion during a July 14 car accident when he collided with an SUV near his northern California home, per me and @nwagoner.

[Fake Sports GM🍥®️ @TheJasonG5]

This is just another rage bait delivery skit.

[DocumentingLibs @HistorianUSA1]

A 9-year-old DoorDash driver delivers to the WRONG house in Carmel, Indiana… and the homeowners straight-up refuse to give the food back.

He shows up, explains it’s a mistake because the app sent him to the wrong place, says he’s just a broke kid trying to make college money. They know it’s not theirs. He even points out their fancy pillars like “y’all really stealing from me?”

It escalates FAST. Threats to “break all their sh!t,” name-calling and so on. Both sides threatening to call the cops.

I get that the kid delivered to the wrong house and it’s the delivery service that is responsible. That being said, you have to have zero class or character to refuse to give it back.

[Fake Sports GM🍥®️ @TheJasonG5]

@TrinityRoze @DoorDash The delivery fee is a flat $2. That person tipped 75 cents. Lol. Decline that all day.

[Fake Sports GM🍥®️ @TheJasonG5]

@CardChronicle Do I blame Trump or Obama for this? I'm never sure.

[Fake Sports GM🍥®️ @TheJasonG5]

Put a 5'11 football player on him and just have them lean into his hips the whole game.

[Joe Doerrer @jd3hoops]

How do you stop this?

7’6 15 year old prospect out of Canada, Jeremy Gohier

[Fake Sports GM🍥®️ @TheJasonG5]

Pete Rose is banned for life, brought to you by Caesars Sportsbook.

[Chicago White Sox @whitesox]

Back to regular scheduled programming

[Fake Sports GM🍥®️ @TheJasonG5]

Everyone just gets mad when I say these things to them.

[Bee 🐝🌿 @BeeAwake1]

😂 Nothing Like A Little Golf Loaded With Attitude 🤣😁

[Fake Sports GM🍥®️ @TheJasonG5]

Man, we were getting diarrhea from Taco Bell way before it was cool.

[Polymarket @Polymarket]

BREAKING: CDC investigators officially identify Taylor Farms lettuce supplied to Taco Bell as a suspected source of the cyclosporiasis outbreak sickening thousands.

[Fake Sports GM🍥®️ @TheJasonG5]

Wanna guess which years I drafted him?

[Scott Barrett @ScottBarrettDFB]

Christian McCaffrey - PPR Positional Finish

2018: RB2
2019: RB1
2020: hurt, played 3 games
2021: hurt, played 7 games
2022: RB2
2023: RB1
2024: hurt, played 4 games
2025: RB1

[Fake Sports GM🍥®️ @TheJasonG5]

Man, I never get sent anything cool.

[Right Angle News Network @Rightanglenews]

A 77-year-old woman is now speaking out after the state of Florida sent her a randomized license plate number that appears to read “squeeze ass.”

[Fake Sports GM🍥®️ @TheJasonG5]

This is the DoorDash nightmare. A $2 tip and a note that says "Leave it at the door bro".

[TB1Kinobe™️🇺🇸 @TB1Kinobe]

I would have this figured out in less than 3min

[Fake Sports GM🍥®️ @TheJasonG5]

We can't have jokes anymore?

[College Transfer Portal @CollegeFBPortal]

WILD: Here’s the recently deleted Tampa Bay Buccaneers video edit with the Yellowstone bison incident.

Crazy they posted it in the first place 🤯

[Fake Sports GM🍥®️ @TheJasonG5]

This is mostly accurate. I'll assume they are in the entertainment department so they have a higher entitlement onboard. Lower ranks can have 4 to a room and aren't allowed outside of crew areas unless on duty. It is an interesting lifestyle for sure.

[꧁Bobbi꧂ @SaltyBitch_52]

What it's like working on a cruise ship🛳️. I always thought that would be a really fun job but apparenty not.

[Fake Sports GM🍥®️ @TheJasonG5]

You and your immediate family are the only people who care that it's your birthday. The rest of the world owes you nothing for surviving one more year.

[Right Angle News Network @Rightanglenews]

A Jersey Mike’s employee in Baltimore, David, is receiving mass praise after refusing to take abuse from a black woman demanding free food for her “birthday.”

“I want a free birthday meal.”

“Fck your birthday.”

[Fake Sports GM🍥®️ @TheJasonG5]

The sport that still has Pete Rose banned for gambling puts Caesars Sportsbook on it's promos. That tracks.

[Chicago White Sox @whitesox]

How we line up this Sunday ⤵️