𝐉𝐎𝐄 𝐁𝐀𝐍𝐆

𝐈’𝐦 𝐚𝐥𝐥 𝐚𝐛𝐨𝐮𝐭 𝐭𝐡𝐞 𝐟𝐮𝐭𝐮𝐫𝐞. #pennedbyv | PARODY Role Play (RP) Account

[𝐉𝐎𝐄 𝐁𝐀𝐍𝐆 @TheJoeBang]

⠀

𝐓𝐡𝐞 𝐌𝐚𝐧

𝐓𝐡𝐞 𝐋𝐞𝐠𝐞𝐧𝐝

💥 𝐉𝐎𝐄 𝐁𝐀𝐍𝐆 💥

[𝐉𝐎𝐄 𝐁𝐀𝐍𝐆 @TheJoeBang]

*ears slightly ringing*

Where’s my shirt? More like— where’s your manners, missy?

🤨

[𝒲𝓇ℯ𝓎 ⋆.˚ ☾ .⭒˚ {RP} @Wrey24were]

🗣️ WHY ARE YOU ALWAYS PLAYING YOUR MUSIC SO LO—

🧍🏻‍♀️‼️

🗣️ WHERE IS YOUR SHIRT??!! 👉🏻

[𝐉𝐎𝐄 𝐁𝐀𝐍𝐆 @TheJoeBang]

Hello neighbor! What can I do ya for?

[𝒲𝓇ℯ𝓎 ⋆.˚ ☾ .⭒˚ {RP} @Wrey24were]

*Zooms next door at wolfish speed.*

[𝐉𝐎𝐄 𝐁𝐀𝐍𝐆 @TheJoeBang]

*turns it up*

[𝒲𝓇ℯ𝓎 ⋆.˚ ☾ .⭒˚ {RP} @Wrey24were]

💭Dammit!

💭He’s back.

🗣️ Turn it down!! Now!!

[𝐉𝐎𝐄 𝐁𝐀𝐍𝐆 @TheJoeBang]

*plays the music extra loud for @Wrey24were*

[𝐉𝐎𝐄 𝐁𝐀𝐍𝐆 @TheJoeBang]

I thought you’d never ask.

[— 𝙵𝚁𝙰𝙽 (semi) @FGARUPE]

Can- can I try?

[𝐉𝐎𝐄 𝐁𝐀𝐍𝐆 @TheJoeBang]

Damn.

He slips two long picks from his pocket. They’ve always held a bit of luck for him.

Long seconds tick by before the lock yields to his touch, and once inside, he faces another dilemma.

📲 the damn room’s full of computers. Which one’s our lucky lady?

[𝐉𝐎𝐄 𝐁𝐀𝐍𝐆 @TheJoeBang]

His lips stay curved in a sly grin as he watches the expert way she draws attention without 𝘥𝘳𝘢𝘸𝘪𝘯𝘨 𝘢𝘵𝘵𝘦𝘯𝘵𝘪𝘰𝘯.

Upstairs, the corridors are quiet and empty. His footfalls are muted on the plush carpet as heads to the furthest door, which is—

Locked.

++

[𝐉𝐎𝐄 𝐁𝐀𝐍𝐆 @TheJoeBang]

…yes.

[— 𝙵𝚁𝙰𝙽 (semi) @FGARUPE]

N-no. Do you do this regularly?👀

[𝐉𝐎𝐄 𝐁𝐀𝐍𝐆 @TheJoeBang]

Making his way through the crowd, he grabbed a drink from a waiter’s tray. He felt out of practice, unsteady — but as he glanced back at his accomplice, his confidence slid back into place.

This would be a piece of cake.

[𝐉𝐎𝐄 𝐁𝐀𝐍𝐆 @TheJoeBang]

“C’mon now, ain’t you ever seen a heist movie before?”

[𝒲𝓇ℯ𝓎 ⋆.˚ ☾ .⭒˚ {RP} @Wrey24were]

She raises a brow, “And what do you know about extortion, Chitty Chitty Bang Bang?”

[𝐉𝐎𝐄 𝐁𝐀𝐍𝐆 @TheJoeBang]

You ever lit something on fire just to watch it burn?

[— 𝙵𝚁𝙰𝙽 (semi) @FGARUPE]

….

Right. *takes a step back*

[𝐉𝐎𝐄 𝐁𝐀𝐍𝐆 @TheJoeBang]

“Discreet? Hm…”

As the coordinates slip into one pocket, he produces a bundle of small, red cylinders with the other, holding it out to her.

“Guess that makes you the distraction then.”

[𝐉𝐎𝐄 𝐁𝐀𝐍𝐆 @TheJoeBang]

“Why didn’t ya say so, darlin’?”

As he makes the final adjustments, he realizes - tux fits him like a glove.

“You been payin’ closer attention than I thought…”

[𝐉𝐎𝐄 𝐁𝐀𝐍𝐆 @TheJoeBang]

The mention of the police stops his growing grin in its tracks.

“Callin’ the police on someone just for having a good time and listenin’ to a little music? This is startin’ to soundless like an ‘investment’ and more like an ‘extortion’…”

[𝒲𝓇ℯ𝓎 ⋆.˚ ☾ .⭒˚ {RP} @Wrey24were]

“Well, see. . . I was thinking you could invest in the company of me by buying me these shoes. And in return, I won’t report you to the police for blasting your music so loud.”

“I think that’s a win-win.”

[𝐉𝐎𝐄 𝐁𝐀𝐍𝐆 @TheJoeBang]

….

To light things on fire.

[— 𝙵𝚁𝙰𝙽 (semi) @FGARUPE]

This is true, I suppose. What did you get it for exactly? Do you know of a… zombie apocalypse or something? Should I be preparing?

[𝐉𝐎𝐄 𝐁𝐀𝐍𝐆 @TheJoeBang]

Bah, you can get anything on the internet these days.

[— 𝙵𝚁𝙰𝙽 (semi) @FGARUPE]

A.. a flame… thrower? How does one come about one of those?

[𝐉𝐎𝐄 𝐁𝐀𝐍𝐆 @TheJoeBang]

The tops of his ears redden slightly as she turns on the charm. He fights the smile that aches to spread across his face.

“Uh, shoes?” He glances at the screen. “Not sure I’d have the occasion to wear ‘em, but tell me more ‘bout this little opportunity of yours.”

[𝒲𝓇ℯ𝓎 ⋆.˚ ☾ .⭒˚ {RP} @Wrey24were]

“Actually, I do. . .” she glides closer, chest out, charming smile locked in place.

“I have an investment opportunity I’d like to propose.”

She pulls out her phone and shows him a photo.

“How do you feel about shoes?”

[𝐉𝐎𝐄 𝐁𝐀𝐍𝐆 @TheJoeBang]

@detectiveflip_

[Flip (SH) @detectiveflip_]

Might turn into a sinful kinda Sunday

[𝐉𝐎𝐄 𝐁𝐀𝐍𝐆 @TheJoeBang]

“Acquired, actually.”

He bites back a smile, sugar-scented memories of a racetrack smoldering in the back of his mind.

“But yeah, I supplement my income when the job feels right. Or fun. You got somethin’ for me?”

[𝒲𝓇ℯ𝓎 ⋆.˚ ☾ .⭒˚ {RP} @Wrey24were]

“Odd jobs?”

💭 𝑇ℎ𝑒𝑛 ℎ𝑜𝑤’𝑑 ℎ𝑒 𝑎𝑓𝑓𝑜𝑟𝑑 𝑡ℎ𝑎𝑡 𝑠𝑝𝑟𝑖𝑛𝑔 𝑏𝑟𝑒𝑎𝑘 𝑏𝑒𝑎𝑐ℎ ℎ𝑜𝑢𝑠𝑒 𝑤ℎ𝑒𝑟𝑒 ℎ𝑒 𝑑𝑟𝑜𝑣𝑒 ℎ𝑒𝑟 𝑎𝑏𝑠𝑜𝑙𝑢𝑡𝑒𝑙𝑦 𝑛𝑢𝑡𝑠 𝑎𝑙𝑙 𝑤𝑒𝑒𝑘?! 𝑆𝑜𝑚𝑒𝑡ℎ𝑖𝑛𝑔’𝑠 𝑓𝑖𝑠ℎ𝑦.

“Family wealth?”