Michael

You know mans is international now, fam. Check the statistics

[Michael @TheRealScimeca]

@wacoblake @baseballot I'm coming to visit you in DC but I'm not going to a Mets game because I'm not a masochist

[Tom Segura AKA Mr. Ladybug @tomsegura]

Have a great Sunday
Love,
The 💧🏆

[(parody) BILL NYE THO @Bill_Nye_Tho]

dehydration is not an option

[Michael @TheRealScimeca]

How many boogers do you think Joachim Löw ate to calm down during the half? #GERSWE

[Covers @Covers]

With Germany down (AGAIN!) 0-1 to Sweden, here’s a live look at #GER backers... #WorldCup

[Michael @TheRealScimeca]

STOP WHAT YOURE DOING AND TURN ON A TELEVISION. https://t.co/kfVydTgeaB

[FOX Sports @FOXSports]

That escalated quickly.

Sweden take the 1-0 lead over Germany, who would be eliminated with a loss.

[Michael @TheRealScimeca]

Apeshit has me the closest I've ever been to suscribing to Tidal

[Michael @TheRealScimeca]

@wacoblake @FOXSoccer G E T T H E G O A L I E

[Michael @TheRealScimeca]

Geopolitics aside, this is why I love sports. The IRI went against a world soccer power and refused to kiss the ring. Spain better be counting their lucky stars tonight and Portugal better not take this team lightly because Iran showed they're a team that can steal one if you do. https://t.co/86dOh4ub5T

[FOX Soccer @FOXSoccer]

It wasn't easy, but Spain get a result against Iran!

[Michael @TheRealScimeca]

@wacoblake @FOXSoccer I didn't know fetuses could have memories

[Michael @TheRealScimeca]

@_drewology_ @wacoblake @FOXSoccer Blake: Damn, I still remember the Tea Pot Dome Scandal like it was yesterday. Shit was wild.

[Michael @TheRealScimeca]

@wacoblake @FOXSoccer How old are you, man?

[Michael @TheRealScimeca]

You guys wanna see a dead body? https://t.co/M3UrLa6HbO

[FOX Sports @FOXSports]

It's OK, Pique. Iran fails to convert after the nutmeg. 😱#IRNESP

[Michael @TheRealScimeca]

Wtf is going on? Is any of this real? Am I real? https://t.co/nU7qXKKBRe

[Bleacher Report @BleacherReport]

What a win for Japan

#WorldCup

[Michael @TheRealScimeca]

I fookin soiled me knickers https://t.co/gBhetUwebm

[Aaron @elnnenym]

Harry Kane scoring from corners instead of taking them.

[Michael @TheRealScimeca]

@wacoblake I used to do the same thing with Sam Adams as holy water when the Americans played

[FOX Soccer @FOXSoccer]

👀 SCENES!!

The #WorldCup watch party at Flat Iron Square in London was absolute madness after Harry Kane's winner.

[Krowd9 Football @Krowd9]

Absolute scenes after Harry Kane’s winner at Boxpark in Croydon. 🏴󠁧󠁢󠁥󠁮󠁧󠁿 #ENG⁠ ⁠ #WorldCup⁠ ⁠ (@PalaceSoul)

[Michael @TheRealScimeca]

Since I'm between lawyers rn, if I ever die before you, I want all of you to know that I want Lil Jon's Get Low to be playing as they lower my casket into the grave. I also want everyone there to verify that, contrary to Mr. Lil Jon's sentiments, that I was in fact not scared.

[Michael @TheRealScimeca]

If you're not weighing yourself before and after poops, why do you even have a scale?