The SBComicle

The leading* satirical news headline source for Southern Baptist higher education. *self-proclaimed

[The SBComicle @TheSBComicle]

Friendly feedback: That is a picture of Chicago. I see the Hancock Building and Lake Michigan. This is a good graphic for a degree in North American Church Planting. International though…

[New Orleans Baptist Theological Seminary @NOBTS]

Do you feel called to plant churches? Our MDiv program in International Church Planting will prepare you for planting churches internationally. Learn more at the link below!

Info: https://t.co/LZfNBVuMtx……
#nobts #preparehere #serveanywhere

[Kenneth Keathley @ken_keathley]

Dear @mbird12 @aimeebyrdPYW @kkdumez @bethallisonbarr I attended with open ears, willing to learn. Any sense of irony about discussing the failures of conservative evangelicals re:gender issues, in a LBGTQ+ church that belongs to a denomination rupturing over gender issues?

[The SBComicle @TheSBComicle]

A true @SBTS grad would say “if you need bookends then you just need more books.”

[The SBComicle @TheSBComicle]

Alright, alright Al. You don’t have to yell.

[Albert Mohler @albertmohler]

This is such great news. Thankful we can do this. Come join us…NOW.

[The SBComicle @TheSBComicle]

Apparently SBC seminaries are obligated to make a “world-changing” announcement regarding theological education at least once a week. @NOBTS @SEBTS @GatewaySeminary @SWBTS you are now on the clock.

[The SBComicle @TheSBComicle]

Just throwing this out here, @pastorclint’s campaign slogan, “Make Suits Great Again”.

[Matt Capps @MattCapps]

Big news!

At our panel today, @pastorclint announced that he intends to run for president of the #SBC24.

[The SBComicle @TheSBComicle]

This place seems familiar @MBTS. What other treasured artifacts are they storing?

[Geoff Chang @geoffchang]

The Spurgeon Heritage Collection is here!

[The SBComicle @TheSBComicle]

Don’t get me wrong, I think we should appreciate our pastors this month, but maybe a seminary should use that $10k for their students instead of for buying headlines.

[Midwestern Seminary @MBTS]

#PastorsAppreciationMonth 🤝 @MBTS

• Nominate your pastor to win $10K
• Free "Spurgeon the Pastor" eBook
• Free resources for pastors
• Application waiver for @MBTS or @SpurgeonColl
https://t.co/JOHe1IvdbK

[The SBComicle @TheSBComicle]

BREAKING NEWS: Based on this headline there was no breaking news today.

[Baptist Press @BaptistPress]

A group of 29 adults from the 55-plus ministry at Sagemont Church in Houston, toured the campus of Southwestern Baptist Theological Seminary on Oct. 23.

https://t.co/x11bqiBfs0

[The SBComicle @TheSBComicle]

Why does every disgraced SBC man think “oh no I have been exposed as being bad at my job/doing some terrible thing” and think that the person who exposed them is who ruined their reputation? My brother in Christ you have ruined your own reputation. https://t.co/aCUUeByO6Z

[The SBComicle @TheSBComicle]

@BaptistBlogger Merge SEBTS and NOBTS with new campus located in Atlanta.

Or

Merge SWBTS and MBTS with campus in Fort Worth.

Or

Merge MBTS and Gateway with new campus in Denver.

Or

Merge SWBTS and Gateway with new campus in Phoenix.

Just some ideas to get us started.

[The SBComicle @TheSBComicle]

BREAKING NEWS: @GatewaySeminary initiated executive transition plan as @SBCExecComm seeks new president.

[Baptist Press @BaptistPress]

Gateway Seminary has initiated an executive transition plan to elect a new seminary president. Current President, Jeff Iorg, asked the board of trustees to begin the transition process at the board’s Oct. 10, 2023, meeting in Portland.

https://t.co/ket6DnuZ1B

[The SBComicle @TheSBComicle]

BREAKING NEWS: B&H Publishing confirms the “can you hear me now?” guy as their celebrity spokesperson for the Calling Out The Called book.

[Brad Duncan @braddaddy]

Great book, guys! I highly recommend this to anyone who is considering a call or even those who have been called and need to be reminded of their role as minister.

[The SBComicle @TheSBComicle]

Pretty much a lateral move but @albertmohler is a @SamfordU alum.

[The SBComicle @TheSBComicle]

@fruitland_edu Being a friend here. Your graphic says “Frutiland”

[The SBComicle @TheSBComicle]

BREAKING NEWS: Players have the chance to purchase a luxurious Miami Beach hotel. But be careful because one wrong move and you can be removed as university president.

[Liberty University @LibertyU]

𝙍𝙤𝙡𝙡 𝙩𝙝𝙚 𝙙𝙞𝙘𝙚 & enter to win a Liberty-opoly board game, where you can stroll past campus landmarks and go on Spring Break … but don’t get a parking ticket along the way! 🎲

To enter, repost & follow @LibertyU, @LibertyUPres, and @JonathanFalwell
by 8/25 @ 12 p.m.

[The SBComicle @TheSBComicle]

@megbasham Southern Baptist seminaries are teaching “queer theory and gender pseudoscience”?

[The SBComicle @TheSBComicle]

BREAKING NEWS: SBC church member unaware they were quoting Blink-182 when asked for comment on this development, “Say it ain’t so. I will not go. Turn the lights off. Carry me home.”