Theo Conroy

ghostwriter

[octopus/caveman @octopuscaveman]

The smartphone really revolutionized the waiting room. Oh I get 20 minutes to look at my phone? Don’t mind if I do. The only problem is sometimes when I’m looking at my phone at home my home starts to feel like a waiting room and I realize it is and I’m just waiting to die

[Theo Conroy @TheoConroy25]

The Bear is very bold for this final season where nothing happens after the penultimate season where nothing happened. Really creative stuff

[Theo Conroy @TheoConroy25]

The temptation to retweet every one of these #vagueposting

[Theo Conroy @TheoConroy25]

Maybe the fade of all time

[Theo Conroy @TheoConroy25]

@mattyc413 I’ll play upside down on spotify and come back to this

[Theo Conroy @TheoConroy25]

Shits too fucking funny man whoever’s writing this shit deserves an award

[Theo Conroy @TheoConroy25]

MR BRIGHTSIDE OVER ME???

[Theo Conroy @TheoConroy25]

Another week another pocket full of bcafe napkins to the laundry machine

[Theo Conroy @TheoConroy25]

Been leaving my belt in my pants drawer to save myself time in the morning. Usually gets me out the door like 5 minutes late because I keep forgetting I did that.

[Theo Conroy @TheoConroy25]

@mattyc413 WE (you) back up

[Theo Conroy @TheoConroy25]

Barber took before pictures so he could capture the transformation and then he decided not to take any after pictures…

[Matthew Conroy @mattyc413]

I would describe this past 24 hours of social interaction as Skenes 2026 opening day

[Matthew Conroy @mattyc413]

Apparently the Conroy ancestors passed down a gene that allows us to terribly misread social situations after hearing the plane debacle and then performing similarly last night

[Theo Conroy @TheoConroy25]

(typo in first tweet)

[Theo Conroy @TheoConroy25]

Apparently I enter every irl interaction with the goal of leaving everyone involved feeling 60% more awkward

[Theo Conroy @TheoConroy25]

@mattyc413 We must be on a sick fucking run man

[Theo Conroy @TheoConroy25]

@mattyc413 LMAO I didn’t even see this before I tweeted

[Theo Conroy @TheoConroy25]

@mattyc413 Yeah It’s possible

[Theo Conroy @TheoConroy25]

Doing the adult thing and prepping my breakfast for tomorrow (sucking all the powdered sugar and chocolate off chex mix muddy buddies)