Tiny Dancer

None of your fucking business.

[Tiny Dancer @Tinydancer1961]

I was looking through a Fingerhut catalog & saw that they let you make payments on a new pair of jeans.
If you have to make payments on a pair of jeans, maybe you shouldn't get those jeans.

[Bitmoji🇨🇦/🏴󠁧󠁢󠁳󠁣󠁴󠁿 @BitMoji4U]

Why do people say "no offense" before they offend you.

[Tiny Dancer @Tinydancer1961]

Clue: If you have a bunion the size of a peach & your big toe looks like it's trying to give directions, DON'T WEAR FLIP FLOPS..........EVER!

[Tiny Dancer @Tinydancer1961]

Go eat Tide Pods in your parents' basement, douche.

[Tiny Dancer @Tinydancer1961]

I'm in the mood to see people fight over stupid shit.

Organic food is bullshit.

And, go..........

[Tiny Dancer @Tinydancer1961]

There are some people I know that I wish would eat Tide Pods.

[Son of Dad @ThugRaccoons]

Her: I love your cologne. What is it?

Me: Icy Hot

[Kristen @Kica333]

Lady just asked me if we carry any live animals “like birds”. I work at a pharmacy...

I’m done with today

[♠️ James ♠️ @pplwtching]

If it wasn't for weed dealers, less people would understand fractions.

[The B. @anerdonfire2]

The conversation fell apart after we stopped talking in gifs.

[Tiny Dancer @Tinydancer1961]

Sorry, I have no fucks to spare.

#spareasquareseinfeld

[Tiny Dancer @Tinydancer1961]

I'm still waiting for a girl to do a youtube video on how to hide dark circles, that actually has dark circles.

[Tiny Dancer @Tinydancer1961]

Gail King, I think you can afford better fake eye lashes.
Buy them.

[Tiny Dancer @Tinydancer1961]

I'm in the mood for some drunk shopping.........

[Tiny Dancer @Tinydancer1961]

Everyone's getting Toys R Us gift cards for Christmas this year.

[thisGringo @smbeckley]

I see my typo and raise you a fuck off about it.

[Lauren Ashley @Mix_With_Vodka]

Someone just told me I would be a lot funnier if I didn’t use the word ‘fuck’ in so many of my tweets.

Thank you so much for the great FUCKING advice! I’ll keep it in mind.

[The B. @anerdonfire2]

In my defense, walking through the nursing home dressed as the Grim Reaper sounded hilarious in my head.

[Tiny Dancer @Tinydancer1961]

How come The Price is Right never sends anyone to Ethiopia?