♠️ James ♠️

One time I was hit on in a Walmart parking lot. I delete @'s so you look like you talk to yourself.

[♠️ James ♠️ @pplwtching]

I'm sorry I couldn't answer your text, my mouth was full of peanut butter.

[♠️ James ♠️ @pplwtching]

Win an Elmer T. Lee Barrel Selection Experience valued at $18,000 https://t.co/RWeDka898M #elmertlee #sazeracbarrelselect

[♠️ James ♠️ @pplwtching]

Fajita is Latin for “a taco you have to make yourself”

[♠️ James ♠️ @pplwtching]

If you call me daddy you now have to accept “because I said so” as an answer.

[♠️ James ♠️ @pplwtching]

Me at the Mexican restaurant when margaritas arrive

[♠️ James ♠️ @pplwtching]

If your rim were salted it would probably get licked more often.

[♠️ James ♠️ @pplwtching]

I’m not saying I have lofty goals but I hit my move goal shaking after going to the bathroom.

[♠️ James ♠️ @pplwtching]

@ChaosBubbles85 It’s really the jalapeño ranch

[Kelly B @ChaosBubbles85]

Why does Chuck E Cheese have pizza in stores. It’s not even edible in store… so why is there a market for it 🤦🏻‍♀️

[♠️ James ♠️ @pplwtching]

When you really wanted tater tots and Sonic gives you this.

[♠️ James ♠️ @pplwtching]

Why call it scissoring when you could call it a thigh-five?

[♠️ James ♠️ @pplwtching]

I can’t read braille but I’m not opposed to rubbing it across my nipples.

[♠️ James ♠️ @pplwtching]

Ironic that all the Twitter DOMs showed up around the same time people started telling Siri, Alexa, and Google to do stuff.

[♠️ James ♠️ @pplwtching]

Not sure who needs to hear this… it’s not ghosting if only one person starts the conversations and they quit, they got the hint.

[♠️ James ♠️ @pplwtching]

Cold pizza is charcuterie, fight me.

[♠️ James ♠️ @pplwtching]

@girl_a_whirl 😂😂😂😂 both fair

[♠️ James ♠️ @pplwtching]

Snapchat: send pictures that you don’t want saved.

Also Snapchat: 1 year ago today ::nude pic::

[♠️ James ♠️ @pplwtching]

*pins you to the top of my messages

[♠️ James ♠️ @pplwtching]

@UghShh Should we make them now to be preemptive for the fight?

[♠️ James ♠️ @pplwtching]

@LaqueefaTeen You know better to ask medicated folks how to de-stress 😂