Daily Toddler Slice

Mom | Wife | Wannabe Viral Sensation | Surviving Toddlerhood One Tweet At A Time

[Daily Toddler Slice @ToddlerDaily]

Things I never thought I’d say #237:
“DON’T bite my butt!”

🤦🏻‍♀️

#ToddlerLife #MomLife

[Daily Toddler Slice @ToddlerDaily]

4 year old in a thoughtful tone: Mommy, I think I want to go to Hogwarts.

Me: Me too bud. Me too.

#preschoolers #hogwarts #harrypotter

[Daily Toddler Slice @ToddlerDaily]

#metoo #christmasday #Traditions

[Daily Toddler Slice @ToddlerDaily]

4 yo: Mommy, you’re a sturdy little fellow.

😶

#preschoolhumor #mommylife #momofboy

[Daily Toddler Slice @ToddlerDaily]

#truth

[Daily Toddler Slice @ToddlerDaily]

@daddydoubts He’ll wake you up at quarter to 4 most likely.

[Momsense Ensues @momsense_ensues]

I may have made a mistake letting 5 and 2 pick out gifts for their teachers. Those poor ladies are getting some weird crap.

[Daily Toddler Slice @ToddlerDaily]

@HossmanAtHome Top 3 parenting tool also!

[Shannon Carpenter @HossmanAtHome]

I've bribed my teenager to stop with the passive-aggressive comments this holiday.

I've bribed my mother-in-law to stop with the passive-aggressive comments this holiday.

Bribery: For dealing with those special personalities in your life.

[Daily Toddler Slice @ToddlerDaily]

4 yo: Mommy you don’t have a penis, you just got a butt.

Me:

#mommylife #preschoolers #boytalk

[Daily Toddler Slice @ToddlerDaily]

@mamalemon_x Congratulations!!!🎉 🎊🍾

[Daily Toddler Slice @ToddlerDaily]

@DianeAuten My son gets mad if his dad puts in whatever show he requested. It has to be me. I guess I’m really good at pressing buttons. That’s interesting as they’re so good at pushing my buttons.

[Diane Auten @DianeAuten]

I went to dinner last night at my friend's house who has a 3 yo.

The men were sitting on the couch talking with the 3yo sitting next to them.

My friend and I were in the kitchen cooking.

Instead of asking her dad, 3 kept calling to my friend to come deal with the TV.

#momlife

[Daily Toddler Slice @ToddlerDaily]

@kelly__le My (almost) 5yo thinks he came out of my mouth. I did not contradict 😁

[Daily Toddler Slice @ToddlerDaily]

Pulling up in the playground parking lot...
4 yo: I see a friend from school.
Me: Which one is he?
4 yo: He’s the one with the hair.

🤷🏻‍♀️

[Daily Toddler Slice @ToddlerDaily]

Me: Don’t pick your nose!
4yo: I’m not picking, I’m itching.

Pros: He can be a lawyer.
Cons: He can be a lawyer.

🤷🏻‍♀️

[Daily Toddler Slice @ToddlerDaily]

@DaddingAround The new Thomas episodes are kinda weird to me. Like he jumps off the tracks and stuff like that 😬

[Daily Toddler Slice @ToddlerDaily]

#Toddler: I got jammies in my ice cream 🍦

Me: 😂

#icecream #SaturdayNight #toddlerlife

[Cydni Beer @cydbeer]

Before I had kids I thought a parent’s role was centered around building confidence, love and creativity. Now that I have kids I see the role is to wear the kid out to make it to nap time then wear the kid out again to make it to bed time. Then repeat that. Everyday.

[Cats Against Humanity™ @CatsVsHumanity]

Types of women on twitter:

- Moms
- Advocates
- Funny
- Inspirational
- I have boobs!

[Daily Toddler Slice @ToddlerDaily]

@PedersenAhmed Fresh buttered bread from day 1 to delivery day 😁 not so much the gravy though 🤔