Tom Bendall

Sarcastic gay thirty-something. Terrible but enthusiastic air guitarist 🏳️‍🌈 🇪🇺 🇵🇸 ⚽️ 🎸(he/him)

[Tom Bendall @TomBendall]

@Stephenmoogles Quit your job, then ask for it back, it's the only logical way forward

[Tom Bendall @TomBendall]

Just imagine the absolute scenes when @CountBinface beats Naughty Nige

[Tom Bendall @TomBendall]

Elon could donate a million dollars to charity every single hour and still be a multi-billionaire in a century's time.

But he won't. His only thought is how to get even more.

[Tom Bendall @TomBendall]

It's hard to visualise stupidly big numbers, so think of it this way:

1 million seconds ago, it was 1 June
1 billion seconds ago, it was 1994
1 trillion seconds was 32,000 years ago

The idea anyone could be a trillionaire while millions starve should be absolutely sickening

[Tom Bendall @TomBendall]

enough said, good night #eurovision

[Tom Bendall @TomBendall]

I honestly think my nan could do a better job at Spurs than Igor Tudor - even though she's been dead for a decade...

[Dave Haslam @Mr_Dave_Haslam]

“It wasn’t Hitler or Himmler who deported me, beat me, and shot my family. It was the shoemaker, the milkman, the neighbor, who were given a uniform and then believed they were the master race.”

Karl Stojka, Auschwitz survivor

[Tom Bendall @TomBendall]

@defendhollander 👏 AS 👏 SHE 👏 SHOULD! 👏

[Tom Bendall @TomBendall]

@clockwrkpendrgn Nah, the second is just for show, it's the sparkly nail polish one that counts ✨

[Tom Bendall @TomBendall]

@diazettes my man scott just *really* needs dishwasher tablets 😅

[Tom Bendall @TomBendall]

@haliwriteswords maybe kip just forgot to buy dishwasher tablets 😅

[Tom Bendall @TomBendall]

@goforeddie Y'all better pawn your strategic maple syrup reserves if needs be, make it happen!

[Tom Bendall @TomBendall]

@angstfuls If this happens, my therapist will be wanting a VERY stern word with you... 😅

[Tom Bendall @TomBendall]

@rudeloved ...they best throw in a Pulitzer, a Nobel Prize and a Sainthood, or I say we riot...

[Tom Bendall @TomBendall]

@bewildered_bi Aw, hell no Rose, my therapist isn't paid enough to deal with this shit 😭😭😭

[Tom Zohar @TomZohar]

An Emmy is not enough, I need Connor Storrie to win an Oscar, a Golden Globe, a SAG award, a lifetime achievement award, a Pulitzer, a MacArthur Grant,

[Tom Bendall @TomBendall]

@TomZohar Someone give that man a sainthood, stat!

[beck @unrivaled]

i watch heated rivalry with the intensity and observational skills of someone sitting in an imax theater watching a christopher nolan film

[Tom Bendall @TomBendall]

@Variety How is this not @FakeShowbizNews ???

[Tom Bendall @TomBendall]

@snoopyshane There's no way they can do the cottage justice in less than 5 hours 😭